obsessive grandparent

Hi all.

I have a son with Spina Bifida and we just found out that our 5 month old son has Spina Bifida Occulta.

To make a long story somewhat short...my mother in law is obsessed with my first son, who is 3. This is her first grandchild, but she feels she needs to analyze everthing that he does and make a diagnosis if he's not feeling well, etc.

First, she doesn't know what she's talking about, second, I've told her that I really don't need her doing that. I know what to look for and all she needs to do is be the fun playful grandmother.

It doesn't stop though. She runs a beauty salon and every detail of my children's lives, and mine, is played out there. I get her customers all the time coming up to me and seeing if everything is allright. First I don't know these people and second, it's my life - if I want to discuss it I will!

I can't seem to get her to understand...I know it's a fine line, being her first grandchild and all...but she plays a role like all this has happened to HER! Oh poor me, I have it the hardest...no matter what your problem is my mother in laws is always worse!

Any advise is appreciated!
klawliss@primelink1.net