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Shane Lestat calmly makes his way onto the stage, grinning as smugly as ever. His attire goes unchanged, the double-breasted suit, the pressed trousers, the meticulously shined shoes; all goes to create the persona he cultivates. But tonight, as much as he dislikes it, isn't about him. It's about something even more pressing, ratings.

"Welcome to DWF AGGRESSION!

I've got some interesting news for you tonight, but first I'd like to thank each and every one of you for turning up and buying a ticket. And to every viewer at home, call your friends and get them to turn over, because this next announcement is a huge one. I'll give you twenty seconds.

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And here we go. The DWF management have decided, in our infinite wisdom, that we will, as of this very second, re-instate Cark Carcharadon! But not only that, here in the DWF we don't do things by halves, and we don't make you wait until a PPV. The main event tonight is Cark versus Gojinn in a Buried Alive match!

Now, that having been said, you two are not allowed to touch one another, speak to one another or even be in the same room until the match. If I find out you have, you will both be fired.

Let's get started. Enjoy the show!"

Shane, smiling still (And, impossibly, even wider), heads back up the ramp and through the curtain, sure of a massive boost in paycheque by the end of the night.

Posted on Feb 13, 2006, 11:40 AM

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