Trying to understand... How can I abandon my desires?

I've been watching Anthony Kosinec and the "Kabbalah Revealed" series.

I got pretty far into the video lectures, but started to get confused about desires and what I am supposed to do with them. I really want to understand Kabbalah. Please excuse any amount of ignorance or misunderstanding in my questions below. I seek to understand, which is why I ask them in this fashion.

The goal, to be one with the Creator, or to be equivalent with him, means to cast off all desires for self in favor of doing things purely for the sake of the Creator. But the Creator wants to fulfill my desires, so how can I fulfill his desire by abandoning my own? He gave me desires and wants to fill them. It seems to me that he is fulfilled when I happily receive his gifts, and not when I reject them or simply negate the need for them by killing my desires.

How can I cast off my desire for food, water, love, peace and contentment? It almost seems as though I will have to become completely miserable in order to satisfy the requirements of the goal.

I feel like I am missing something. If the creator's wish is to give me complete delight, enjoyment, etc, by fulfilling my desires... then how am I serving the Creator by casting off these desires, and is it even possible for a person to stop wanting love, happiness, and fulfillment?

I've always believed that life is meaningless without love, and now I run across something I feel could really be the answer for me personally, Kabbalah, but I've reached a point in Kosenec's lecture where it is starting to sound like I have to give up my desire for love. I don't know how I can do this, coming from a place in my development where I believe existence itself is meaningless without love.

I could be missing something, or maybe I am misunderstanding what is really required.

How can a person cast off his desire for food. Wouldn't he die? The same goes for water, shelter, and even other things like love and fulfillment. If I cast off all these things, don't I just wither and die miserably because I am starving, lonely, and without hope?

I truly see Kabbalah as something that could be what I've been searching for. I know it isn't a religion, and I'm ok with that. But it seems to have the answers to questions I've been pondering for a long time. I'm just confused about what I am supposed to do about my desires.

During the first few lectures I listened to, I thought it meant that I didn't have to abandon my desires, but that I need to reshape (correct) them so that I desire to fulfill the Creator by accepting his gifts, rather than just enjoying his gifts for their own sake.

I just don't get how abandoning my desires will fulfill the Creator. The purpose behind everything is described as a creator who created a being to fulfill his every desire. Anthony Kosinec used the example of a man who creates a meal for his friend. The man really wants his friend to eat and enjoy the meal. He wants his friend to desire the meal, and then to eat and enjoy it.

But then, the friend feels guilty about taking and not giving, so he decides to eat partly for his own benefit, and partly for his friend's benefit. This seemed ideal to both parties. The creator (of the meal) fulfills his own wish to satisfy the desires of his friend. And, in turn, the friend satisfies the creator's desire by actually eating and enjoying the food.

I feel like I have missed something. There is an aspect of it that either didn't get explained, or that I somehow missed, so far. I don't want to continue studying from this point of confusion, which is why I decided to take a break and post on this forum.

If someone could show me where I've gone astray, I'd be very grateful. I want to understand this. I just discovered Kabbalah within the past week, and I have never been this excited. At the same time, however, I've somehow gotten confused about what is actually required. It could be my "will to receive" that is interfering with my understanding. I just don't understand how it is possible or why it would be necessary for me to give up on love.

I have lost all my family in the past few years, and I live alone. More and more lately, I've been discovering the value of what I have lost... and now, at the very moment I seem to have found something to give me hope, my misunderstanding of it has threatened to dash that hope once again.

If you can, please point out where I have gone wrong in my understanding of Kabbalah, so that I may continue my research and studies from a point of clarity.

Thank you,

Rod Jones