A guy goes into a bar and there is a robot bartender. The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says "Martini." The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "168." The robot then proceeds to talk about physics,Space exploration and medical technology.
The guy leaves, but he is curious, so he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini". Again, the robot makes a great martini, gives it to the man and says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "100." The robot then starts to talk about Nascar, Budweiser and John Deere tractors.
The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, "What will you have" The guy says, "Martini", and the robot brings him another great martini. The robot then says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "Uh, about 50."
The robot leans in real close and says, "So... You gonna cheer for the Leafs again this year?"
When Brian Burke took over John Ferguson's office, he found a lamp in one of the cupboards. So he started to polish it, and out comes a genie. "Mr. Burke you have one wish" said the genie.
Burke thinks about it, and being the good American entrepreneur says, "it would great to have highways between the continents so people can drive across," he figures he will make a fortune on the tolls and rest stops. "That is a pretty tall order, nothing simplier" says the genie.
"Well it would be great if the Leafs win the Stanley Cup," says Burke.
The genies comes back with,"Four or eight lanes?"
Wayne and Shoeless i am a big leafs fan but... They were great i am still laughing.
Q)How many Toronto Maple Leafs does it take to win a Stanley Cup?
A) Nobody knows ... And we may never find out.
This guy says to the bartender, "Can my dog and I watch the Toronto Maple Leafs hockey game here? My cable is out, and my dog and I always watch the game together."
The bartender replies, "Normally, dogs wouldn't be allowed in my bar, but it's not very busy right now, so you and the dog can have a seat at the end of the bar. But, if there's any trouble with you or the dog, I'll have to ask you to leave."
The guy agrees, and he and his dog start watching the game. Pretty soon, the Leafs manage to score a goal and the excited dog jumps up on the bar, barks loudly, does a back flip and runs over to the bartender and gives him a high-five.
The bartender says, "Wow, that's pretty cool! What does he do when they win a game ?"
The guys answers, "No Idea, I've only had him for 3 years."
A farmer from Alberta ends up in Hell. Satan looks at him and notices he is smiling.
Satan asks, "Why are you smiling?"
The farmer replies, "It's like a nice fall day back home."
Satan goes and turns up the heat. He returns to find the farmer with a bigger smile on his face.
Satan asks again, "Why are you smiling?"
The farmer replies, "It's like a wonderful spring day back home."
Satan, a little annoyed, goes and turns the heat up once more. He returns to the farmer again to find a bigger smile on his face.
Satan asks, "Why are you smiling?"
The farmer replies, "It's like a beutiful summer day back home."
Satan, now really angry, goes to turn up the heat again. On his way he comes up with an amazing idea. He turns the heat off so there is now ice everywhere.
Satan returns to the farmer to find him screaming with delight and jumping for joy.
Satan asks, "Why are you spirited?"
The farmer replies, "THE LEAFS HAVE WON THE CUP! THE LEAFS HAVE WON THE CUP!"
**The bottom line is that the Leafs will win the cup when Hell freezes over!**
Well the guy went back into the bar a fourth time and the robot asked "What will you have ?" to which once again the guy said 'a martini' and this time when the robot asked what is your IQ the guy said 25, to which the robot says you must know Wayne, Joe, Stingfan and JBond.
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Toronto police found a man dead
November 2 2009, 8:12 PM
Toronto police found a man dead on the lake shore this morning
police said the man had high heels and fish net staukings on
police also said the man had womens panties and a push up bra on
the man also had a leafs sweater on
the police took the leafs sweater off the man to save his family any embarrasment
Does the Toronto media think Kessel is in a slump yet?
I think last night was just a weird night all around. Was their a full moon or something? Not only did the Leafs win, but the Mooseheads won convincingly.
"First step to receiving help is helping yourself."
"Looking at what you are not doing is just another way of doing nothing."
Why cant Hamilton have an NHL team?
Because then Toronto would want one
Why did Vesa Toskala interrupt two people having sex?
He wanted to see what it felt like to stop someone from scoring
What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
They both look great until they hit the ice
What did Billy do after the Leafs won the Stanley Cup?
He turned his Xbox off
Why is ownership considering a name change to the Toronto Possums?
Like possums, they play dead when at home and get killed when they play on the road.
How are the Maple Leafs like artificial Christmas trees?
They both go straight to the basement around the beginning of January.
Always good for a laugh are the Leafs
DUKES_FAN
Current Topic - You know why the Leafs can't have a website?
