RETURN OF THE MACK

Greetings and Salutations friends,

Guess who? That's right, a-ha, a-ha, it's me, all back and all.
Where has your faithful leader been I hear you cry? Well children, it has been a long
and dark tea-time of the soul but let the message board sing with happiness, weep with
joy and other such overblown sentiments, the wait is over...

So. It's actually been so long since I checked out this beloved forum that there were
five pages of messages to get through. Yeah, that's fifty messages to read. It took me
like, hours. (Oh but enjoyable ones, I assure you.) I had so many things throughout
that I was like I must reply to that but who can remember them now? And so I began
to type and I had like a longish message almost ready to go when the God damn
computer messed me about in some unknown fashion and left me message-less. Yes,
Jonathan, it was me that left that somewhat bitter message on the screen last night. I
was highly unimpressed, today however I have regained my zen like clarity and
decided to begin again. That's it, breathe deep, think dalai lama.

Mz. Mo, sweetheart, darling, I may have been hard on some peoples message content in
the past but never on yours, oh no. It's always good when I see your name above a
message, I look forward to those messsages. And lately I see Sarah Jane has become
our other scribe of quality. I'll look forward to more of them then which reminds me,
Kev, you realise now why she wants to be called JJ, right? 'Cos her name is Sarah
(J)ane (J)oan Shiels. Course, maybe I'm wrong. That seems unlikely though.

Was it you JJ who asked if she sounded like Yoda? Well, no is the answer. To sound
like Yoda you just have to reverse your sentences and hey presto! You sound well
wise.
For example;
Sentences you must reverse and presto hey, like Yoda will you sound. Well wise will
you sound.
'Course if you can do the voice then you'll sound like him no matter what.

So, it'd been so long since I'd visited the forum that I hadn't seen the last message
slagging Paul from our anonymous friend at Auntie. B. B. C. Hmmmm. Indulge me
here as my mind ticks over. Conventional wisdom holds our friend at the Beeb is an NYTer so now it's an
NYTer who saw or was involved in obLIVion. That really shortens the list. To, in
fact, the following.
Step forward;

Shane
Paul (No one can be be exempt from consideration)
Elaine
Brian
Rachel
Fiona
Kelan
Roisin
Sarah-jane
Nicola
Ann-Marie
Jamie
Cassie
Ciara
Helena
Romy
Emma
And of course while we're throwing names out let's include John White, Dave Kelly,
Paddy Shirley, Terry O'Hagan and John Taite.
'Course it could just be some one who was around NYT a bit so lets throw in
Glen
Mick
Jonathan
Aoife Mo
and about ten other people who I can't think of right now.
Right. So that exercise wasn't very useful but it saves me trying to remember the
whole list to Annie (Clare Bear). Now you can just read it here darlin'. (Who's funny?)
'Course, when you examine it, the nasty e-mail doesn't really contain any detailed info 'bout
obLIVion so it could just be someone who heard about it from someone else so we
have to include everyone the above people talked to.
Which renders the whole thing pretty pointless.
Oh dear.
Anyway...

Harry Potter. Well I'm a card carrying member of the whole books fan club. I've read
them all (Just once admittedly) and they're great.
The film is not.
It is, in fact, a let down.
And Daniel Radcliffe cannot act.
Yeah, there were some good things like seeing Quidditch played but the book is just
way better. And the film just made clear how Harry does NOTHING in this
adventure. The bad guy is defeated cos he just TOUCHES Harry. 'Cos he's got the
mark of love or somethin'. I mean, hello? That's so lame.

Anyway, it occurs to me you may all have been in a quandry these last few weeks without my helpful
movie notes, wondering what to go see, whether anything out was any use, well fret no
longer with this helpful review round up. (Wow, what a service!)

Zoolander - Like Aoife says; AVOID. Coulda been good but isn't.

The Others - Flippin' deadly. Go see 'cos it'll be gone real soon.

Ghost World - Very cool. Quite funny. Not brilliant now but quite good.

Legally Blonde - Totally predictable but way much fun. See it! And anything else
starring Reese Witherspoon! She is very very cool. (Along with Julia Stiles, Christina
Ricci, Kirsten Dunst and Katie Holmes.)

Kiss of the Dragon - Actually more fun than you'd imagine but if you really like the
fightin', and not the Clint Eastwood kind, you'll love it.

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back - Better than I feared. Kevin Smith cannot act. He
most certainly cannot direct. He can however write some funny stuff. Especially
about Hollywood. Pity someone with talent for directing didn't get the job. Someone
needs to tell him that four letter words blanked on this forum aren't really funny. And
calling someone a fag gets no laughs.

Heist - (No "the") Oh wow. So good. So much good stuff. Acting and especially
writing. It's just a pity David Mamet directed it, 'cos with someone else it coulda been
really great.

Oh my, could these last two be a warning to anyone planning to direct their own play
in this years Members One Acts? Food for thought...

And while we're on the subject, someone said to me today that it was 13 days to
Christmas but we all know what the real count down is, don't we? 7 days to Lord of
the Rings peeps. Yeah, it's all go. Or something.

I was gonna call this messge "Return of the King" cos A.Mo kindly referred to me as
such in reference to this forum and in a lil' LOTR tie-in but I decided no.

OMG!!!! This flippin' forum just kaboshed my message!! Tottally lost it!! Lucky I've
been saving it as I go or my zen like calm might not stand the stress. It must just lose
things after a certian time or somethin'.

So Annie (Clare Bear), this board has been deserted by the NYTers. It's time to rally
the troops and flood the forum, far too long have they been silent. (Oooh, kinda
Yoda-esque that last sentence.)
I'll spread the word and turn this place into an NYT safe zone again. Well alright, not
safe but an NYT zone anyway. Do your part people, your National Youth Theatre
needs you.

Alright, I was gonna lighten all your hearts with tales of the jobs I'm doin'these days
but I'll leave it for another day, maybe tomorrow, right now I think it may be time to
go, it's 4.20 AM. Oh I'm so gonna regret that tomorrow,

See ya all soon,

can't make the workshop but can make the party,
(party piece eh? Hmmmmm.)

Your returned best friend with many hugs and welcoming coos and cute sounds,

Shane

P.S. "...I ain't happy
I'm feelin glad
I got sunshine
In a bag
I'm useless
But not for long
The future is comin' on..."