I'm back. Sort of a vent or need advice about discipline (m)

DS is 3 and dh and I have always had our disagreements about how to discipline him. DH is spirited too so he gets the behavior and seems to handle ds better than I do. I have never behaved in the way my son does and so I never had to be disciplined much. I am just no good at it. DH is also a teacher so he is really good at this sort of thing. I, on the other hand, am a counselor so I am always too darn concerned about his feeligns. LOL Anyway, I often times feel like dh is so harsh although I do see that it works. I see ds making wrong choices when he knows what the consequences will be and I hate that he does that. I need to get tougher but I just don't know how. Any advice? I don't want ds to think he can run circles around me (maybe he already knows this) and I certainly don't want his younger sister to pick up these behaviors either.

Example: ds refused to go to bed last night. I thought perhaps he was scared and I didn' tmind sitting on his bed a bit although it is getting to be a bad habit. He didn't used to have these sleep issues so I don't understand where they are coming from. DH insists that he is just trying to play games with me. DH puts him in time out and there is a screaming fit and 2 hours later that kid is in bed. 2 more hours of dh and I discussing our different parenting styles and how I suck at discipline and don't back him up. I really do try but it is so hard. So.....