and the stimulation of the day.
Kids who have hypersensitive reactions have a smaller repository for all of what they have taken in, they actually NEED to be able to release what they have experienced. If you give him time to release some of what has happened in his day - with quiet reflection - he will be much easier to settle down. One of the tools we used was to come up with 5 bad things and 5 good things that happened. If neither of them could come up with 5, we asked them for just words to describe their day. All of this took place in a darkened quiet room where the words could be heard and no one felt confronted. We still use the technique.
One of the ways we approached sleep was that it wasn't a mandatory sleep time, but a bedtime. Routine is essential, but doesn't have to be elaborate. It could be as simple as 30 minutes of tv, brush teeth, pjs, read one book (or one chapter), have a chat about the day and then into bed. Notice I didn't say to sleep. It may sound crazy, but the most successful way to approach sleeping is to not make it part of the routine at all.
I can't determine when you should go to sleep, nor can I determine when anyone else should go to sleep. Hell, I can't even decide my own sleep patterns. But what we do expect is that our kids are in bed. They may bring books, flashlights, whatever, but they must stay in bed. The only reason to get out is to go to the bathroom, but even that was reduced by the "one last chance to pee" directive. This is not to say that they are prisoners...but what we do is send them to bed. Sleep is up to them. If one or the other did get up, we didn't argue or yell, we didn't even make a huge issue, we just calmly took them back to their rooms and said, "Now is bed time, you must stay in your bed." If they tried to protest, we didn't respond directly, but with a "We said now is time to be in bed, now is bed time."
There was a time when our kids even brought toys to bed. To other people it may have seemed ridiculous and even not at all like a bed time. But our point was this, I needed time as a mom to unwind, they needed time as a kid to unwind, and I wasn't going to get into a losing battle over sleeping, when I could win by simply changing the terms. Bed time I can determine, sleeping, well, that's entirely up to their bodies. We used the same theory with potty training and they both were by 2- where you're going to go as opposed to when and we also use the same thing when it comes to eating - their bodies determine their hunger, not I.
If you have questions about specifics, please ask, I will gladly elaborate on how to determine the time and help you with setting up a routine that you all can live with.
K.
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