It's not that time outs don't work, it's that if a parent has to use repeated time outs for the same situation then the time outs aren't working.
MSK has a great book on Kids Parents and Power Struggles, but it's not a must read if you are going the Howie route.
Howie markets himself to the ADHD crowd and isn't very well known to parents outside that demographic, but his techniques are based on some really solid priciples of learned behavior and positive reinforcement. He is working with the Tuscon School District and does seminars around AZ as well as other states.
Boundaries and consistency are the keys to managing with SKs. But it doesn't have to be an elaborate set up or a long process to establish. Yes, regardless of the conflict resolution, your son knows exactly what kid of response he will get from your dh and that is comforting in and of itself. I have a few IRL parents who marvel that kids enjoy coming to our house because we have clear boundaries...they never figured that it would be a positive. And yet, we are a house where kids abound. One mom called and pressed me on what I did to put her DD under my spell since no one else had invited her back for a playdate except us. I just said there are clear expectations and consistent feedback for everyone here, but that the kids get free reign within those to just be kids and have fun, she still couldn't figure it out. The idea the there were rules and her dd liked it was bizarre.
Anyway, I have rambled enough. Yes, get the book, you will both use it at home and in your jobs (we even use it with each other in our marriage!).
KC
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