Keanu as Neo vs Keanu as Constanine? Whoa. Discuss....

Are we talking about within the matrix or in the real world?

I'm thinking alternating rounds, first in the Matrix, then in Hell, then back in the Matrix, etc...

well, wouldn't religion and all of its trappings and minions fall under the illusion created by the matrix? so Neo would realize Constantine's hoohah voodoo mojo heebie-jeebs as illusory and then kick has ass by transcending to his status as the ONE...or is this too pretentious?

I think we're all forgetting about Ted "Theodore" Logan here, guys. While Neo is queerbaiting over whether or not choice is illusion because he saw a cat and got deva ju, and Constantine is crybabying over how they won't let him chainsmoke in Heaven while thinking up new ways to conjugate the verb "fuck"... well, ku ku kachoo, here comes Canoe - look out for Team Ted, droppin' a phone booth on they ass an' snappin' into a Slim Jim with his good pal Bill S. Preston, Esquire and their grue crew of history's baddest asses, including Genghis Khan, Abe Lincoln & the Grim Reaper, not to mention the Kung Fu Grip Karate stylings of Station's Robot Creations, bringing them a most excellent new definition of pain. Be excellent to each other, bitches.

for the extra point, who's the better quarterback - Johnny Utah or Shane Falco?

Hey, didn't you play the retarded quarterback? Don't forget the Speed Keanu. He never hesitated to shoot the hostage. That's the kind of guts it takes to win a Keanu battle.

OK... which Canoe character is more stoically monotonous - his character from Speed or his character from Johnny Mnemonic?