I'm afraid that I don't know you and I hope you don't mind my opinion here.
I agree that none of us an possibly make that decision for you about not going to family functions. I do think that it might be healthy to talk to your mom and step-dad about how you are feeling though. They need to understand your possible anger that they didn't protect you from this brother. They also need to know he has never apologized and for that, he might need to be talked to by his parents. Yes, they are still both your parents and always will be.
I decided to give up on my immediate family (except my own children) and it is very difficult, especially during holidays and family get togethers. You might have to weigh which is better for your own health.
I also don't feel that it is wrong to bring up the fact that your bro is getting away with being the "good" guy while you suffer at these functions. It might be time to put him in his place. Maybe he is fun and the life of the party, but he is also cruel. If you have a t, there might be ways you can talk about how to do this without isolating you further from your family. It's a very tough situation and I know how your feelings must feel hurt every time you meet. First though, I still believe it is okay to let your parents know how you feel and the anger you have inside for being left out and ignored.
I'm not a professional by any means and I am not very tactful so I hope this is something you can do with help.
best wishes for you and this. I know it must hurt a lot.
riley...
Posted on Oct 2, 2001, 8:49 AM from IP address 205.188.199.166