why does going forward in t always seem to drag me backwards? i know that when we talk and rock and cry, this is good. progress. we have a new t, so i'm even happier about the fact that this is happening.
yet, it's making the nightmares worse, memories worse, thoughts of imminent ends and dire straits worse. i know we need t, but is it worth the pain? the anguish? seems like we were better when we were not in t. i'm scared all the time. am jumpy. am back to hating the phone.
maybe it's just b/c i haven't had t in 2 weeks. last t was hard, so i've had days and days to reconsider if this is the right thing.
it's not helping that one of the people with me is questioning me, poking me where it hurts. i wish she'd leave me alone.
anyway, that's it for today...
circles, i'm always walking in circles.
alex
Posted on Nov 29, 2001, 1:17 AM from IP address 205.162.15.2