My heart goes out to you. As my abuser is alive I can't answer your question but I wanted to let you know that I can appreciate the depth of pain you are experiencing.
I think it is important to remember that what ever your feelings are then they are normal for you.
Try to take things real slow and be especially kind and caring to yourself during this awful time. If you can write here often, you will get a great deal of support and encouragement from the wonderful people that use this site. I will be away for a little while but I hope to hear you are doing ok when I get back.
Take care
Terry
Posted on Feb 1, 2002, 6:42 PM from IP address 203.24.54.5