As we grow older and we begin to heal, we come to realize and understand some things. For me, it has been the realization of where some of my past behaviors have come from. One was realized yesterday while talking to my mother on the phone. Let me give you a brief description of what's been going on. My sister (and my main support person) had rented out her lower level of her townhome to a lady. Not an older lady, I believe my sister said she was in her late 40's, so still very young. When the lady, Karen (rest her soul), came to look at the place, she informed my sister that she was in remission from breast cancer. Well, a few months back - I'm not even sure if it was that long ago, she was no longer in remission. She wanted to go up to the cabin one more time this summer, so her Dr. started her on another round of chemo. This past week was very bad, Karen went down hill very quick. With her sisters (Karen's) and my sister with her on Thursday evening she lost her battle (ok, I'm tearing up now-sorry) at 5:30 pm CT. I'm sure God is taking good care of her.
So, my mother calls me yesterday afternoon at work and asks me if I've talked to my sister today. I told her yes, I have. Mother asked how she was doing (ok, 1 - why is she calling ME? Why not call my sister)... anyway..... I told her she appears to be doing fine. My sister works in health care, I'm sure she is handling it pretty well. However, we were with out gramma when she passed away of lung cancer, so I'm hoping she didn't think back. Well, my mother continues on and says, "Bill (step dad) and I were thinking that it was very rude of her (Karen-doesn't even know her name)to put **Sister** in that position." LIKE THIS WOMAN PLANNED TO DIE!!!! So, I proceed to tell my MOTHER that she was in remission when she moved in. She tells me, "Well, was she really?" I said, "Mom, there's really nothing we can do about that, is there. When someone is in remission, we are given hope. I highly doubt Karen planned all this." I was just so PISSED (excuse the language).
I was thinking after that and I thought, "Gees, that sounds like me some years ago. I would blame others for everything." Boy, wonder where I acquired that from, huh? THANK GOD! I don't do that anymore.
How frickin' (sorry) selfish can she be to even say that! I pointed out the my sister made her decision. She knew ahead of time what might happen if she ran out of "luck". I try to forgive my mother for always turning the other cheek when it came to my abuse, but I am so GLAD that I am not afraid to say anything to her. I love my mother, but I really hope she felt like an a** after she hung the phone up with me.
Thanks for listening. I know it's been a while since I've been here, and then I post this, but had to get that off my chest.
Posted on Mar 16, 2002, 10:15 AM from IP address 63.161.12.129