I'm the same in a lot of ways. I too get uncomfortable when I get given gifts or have compliments paid as I never know how to react or what to say. I always feel a little guilty too thinking my friend could have spent that money on themselves instead.
There have been times when I have also been very horrible to those closest to me and I think it's just me letting loose, not necessarily understanding why, and I took my friends for granted assuming they'd keep coming back. Luckily one or two have stayed and now i don't thrash out at them because I don't want to lose them. While I was being horrible to them though I felt guilty all time but never felt I could explain it to them either.
Again there are times when I feel very tearful and have no idea why. I try not to analyse it so much now as I think it's just my body still healing itself so I just let it run it's course.
I hope some of that makes sense. Just remeber that whatever your feelings are whether you can explain them or not you should never feel strange or ashamed of them. We all have our own ways of dealing with life.
Take care
Em
Posted on Mar 22, 2002, 7:14 PM from IP address 80.225.21.215