I have just recently broken the bonds with my mother. I use to be a people-pleaser. If it went against anyone, I wouldn't do it. I lived to make others happy because that's what I thought I was suppose to do. It wasn't until about 4 years ago, I started to change that. I live to make myself happy now. No one else. Life's much better.
However, my mother needs to understand that she needs to deal with it and she needs to figure out for herself how to come to terms with it and she refuses to do so. She asked the other day if I was coming over for Easter... only like 2 weeks AFTER I found out from my sisters. And 5 days before Easter. I told her no, I don't have the kids anyway. With my daughter standing there, she says, "Oh, well, I guess you'll just miss the easter egg hunt then." My daughter looked at me with those, "We're going to miss that" look. I was so mad. You know, don't go draggin my kids in to your world, lady, is what I wanted to say. And my oldest daughter knows why I won't go to her gramma's functions and I've explained it to her. Not in detail, but she still knows I do not want to see, nor hear her son's name mentioned in my house or anywhere else. I hate seeing the man and refuse to go where ever he is.
My mother will have to take that to her grave with her. He hurt me beyond imagine and would continue to do so if I had let him now (mentally), but I won't.
I'm not sure why we acted so differently. I really didn't care when I was a teen ager. I hated life and was just "surviving". I prayed every day that God would have mercy on me and take me out of this world. Thankfully, my prayers were not answered.
Posted on Mar 30, 2002, 9:44 AM from IP address 63.161.12.129