If I'm not careful, I can get really cynical about my life. The most recent example of this is...Now! I get to feeling so frustrated with my situation, and despite tremendous amounts of hard work and effort on my part, I start feeling like God really has it in for me; I just can't catch a break. I have been trying, after years of being nothing more than a zombie (literally), to juggle a job, school, and several serious medical conditions. Today I found out that on top of all that, I need complete reconstructive jaw surgery (transplanting muscle in for other soft tissues and all, possibly a complete jaw replacement). This is a $20,000 surgery. I am on SSDI...no $20,000 in sight for me! I know medicare will pay for most of this, but I can't handle even the "negligible" extra expenses (I just love how Dr.s think $500 here, or $500 there is negligible). I just get to feeling like I really can't take another thing on my plate. I don't mean to complain, but I have to put those feelings somewhere, or they will explode and EVERYTHING I worked so hard for will fall apart.
Sorry, just needed to vent. Any "pats on the back" thrown my way, or encouragement offered would be greatly appreciated.
Julie
Posted on Oct 16, 2003, 1:30 AM from IP address 66.32.4.86