I'm new to this website. And a little nervous about posting on it. I have DID, and 65 alter personalities. I, Donica, am the host of the Leasaryn system. The word Leasaryn means 'rises from the ashes' in Elvish. I've accepted this name as the name for my system of alters: boys, girls, men and women. I'm looking for someone to talk to, a familiar soul I can relate to, who knows what it's like to be DID. It's so very difficult to find other people with DID in my area. I live in Denton, Texas (specificaly Lake Dallas, TX.)
I'm also a witch. I practice paganism. I'm not a victim of Satanic Abuse, though.
I was sexually molested when I was very, very young by an unknown rapist. To this day, I don't know who did it. My mother basically abandoned me at the age of four weeks. She had to, because we couldn't live without a second income. It didn't change the fact that I was abandoned. My father was emotionally unavailable and I felt very much alone. For most of my life, I was terrified of my mother. That's where most of my abuse comes from. It wasn't until my alters started revealing thimselves during my High School years that I was able to stand up to her, although it wasn't me who did it.
During my high school years, I was very rarely out, especially when we relocated to Carrolton from Duncanville. Most of my high school memories were viewed from a remote distance. It was because of this that I didn't attribute my strange and uncharacteristic behavior to DID. Although I have some memories of high school, I was basically a bystander. Co-conscious but not knowing why I was doing some of the things I did.
I got into trouble a lot and my mother and I were not on good terms. This was due to a very angry an rebellious alter that no longer resides in my system. I named her Faith, after the character on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, because she embodied a lot of the same characteristics.
I am co-conscious. I know who all of my alters are and know when they are out. Some are very obvious, like my Protector alter, Kronos.
Some of my female alters will occasionally come out and my step-mother is usually the first one to recognize when I'm not out in control. She and my father have become very supportive of my Multiplicity. My mother, my prime abuser, and I have mended the fences between us and she no longer feels threatened by my alters.
But, I still feel lonely. I live on my own, if you don't count my cat, Osiris. I'd like to find someone who also had DID, someone I can share my experiences with, someone who I can relate to and become friends with.
I hope there is someone who would be willing to correspond with me. I'm going through some tough times right now and could use the support. Sorry if I sound a little desperate.
Like I stated earlier, my name is Donica, but the name of my system is Leasaryn. I hope somone responds to my request.
Thank you for listening and reading my introduction.
Posted on Jan 20, 2006, 1:03 PM from IP address 64.136.27.225