I feel that my heart is breaking the saddnes is so huge and I dont know how to make it diminish
I know something has to change I just dont know what it is Im supposed to do to make things better.
Im so terribly afraid of having to speak with someone else about all that I feel and all that I am. It all feels so very difficult.
I constantly ask myself "why", I dont believe that I am a bad person a bad wife or mother but what is it about me that sems to attract this misery, this ... I dont even know the words to express my feelings. Im so overwhelmed by the depression and its inherent misery, when you feel that you no longer even love your children its very hard to believe that there is a purpose or reason for you being on this earth.
Forgive me. So few have any understanding of the pain I feel deep in my soul and tonight it is just flowing from me.
With love Terry
Posted on Jul 31, 2000, 9:51 AM from IP address 202.139.59.131