I come here everynight to read, and I realize that some of you have gotten to know each other already. So I don't mean to be intrusive by posting! It's just that lately I have been aching for understanding. I never tell people that I have been sexually abused. I feel like I live in a world where I am trying to be just like everyone else. I want to be smarter and stronger (emotionally) and more NORMAL! So I am trying to act my way through life, but I don't feel I am fooling anyone including myself.
The truth is I am not normal! I am scared to be with men, so I haven't dated much. I am scared that people would know that I was/am weak that I don't cry; yet in my heart I ache to sometimes. By saying I was raped as a child I am not trying to get pity, nor am I trying to scare people away from me. I just want someone to say "I understand why you feel that way" or "I see you are doing a good job coping with that." But I won't get that, so I don't tell anyone.
Sometimes I just need to talk to someone~Just to tell them that I am hurting! But I don't have anyone! I'm sorry! I better go now, becuase I don't want to cry! Danette
Posted on Sep 5, 2000, 9:03 PM from IP address 158.252.171.107