Lots of people live in a family that loves and cares for them. They have their sisters and cousins and parents and they all grow together, get together for fun times, maybe call on the phone and stuff. They don't do this because they feel they NEED to, they do it because they like each other. They don't have the NEED part because they are connected to people and feel valued and loved. Sometimes they might call a favorite aunt when they feel upset, maybe the aunt might call them if they need a punch bowl, but the two balance out. They both feel cared for and needed.
Not so for me. I NEED. I am disconnected and have spent a great deal of my life wondering what was wrong with me that I was never accepted anywhere. All I can ever do is the wrong thing, but the part that hurts the worst is that noone has ever just needed ME, felt enough about me to come to me for comfort, even though I have a big heart and a lot of caring and love to give. You have given to others on this board. Now you come with questions and needs. This place is a lot like a real family then, except that many times I wish I could meet and talk with some of these people. Sometimes because I want to spread a little comfort around, sometimes because I need it myself. It would be nice to know a familiar face or to have a hug. My point is, that there is nothing wrong with hanging out here no matter which end of that need you are on. No guilt, OK? Just come for what you need for now and give what you can when that times comes.
JJ
Posted on Nov 25, 2000, 7:33 AM from IP address 207.225.141.213