Pressure
by Jocelyn (no login)Finally found a new job. Have met with them twice already and they are nice people, the company looks from the outside to be a good one. The interview and the skills tests both went well and I felt pretty relaxed which for me is a minor miricle (not saying I believe in miricles here....). So they interviewed 27 people, called back 4 applicants for the testing and yesterday they called and asked me in to make an offer. I should feel good having been selected.
I should be jumping at the chance. My family will be better off with the money, have been laid off for 3 months now. It should feel like a relief. So why am I up in the middle of the night? Why, even though I felt pretty happy yesterday, does my stomach hurt? I took a Zantac for the first time since I left the old job.
The stress reactions and panic attacks are ruining my life. They make me wish I were not alive. The simplest trip to the store can become a terrible nightmare. This new job includes fairly regular travel...... Am I lying to them if I just take it and pretend it will be ok? I was not cut out to live in this time. The pressure is so intense. Really I just want my old job back. I really really want it back. Better yet? SO could make enough to support us and I could relax and take care of things at home but that might never happen. Yeah I want what others want, a nice place to live and a decent dependable car and kids that can participate and have a few things because there is some money for that. I just wish it didn't have to come at such a price.
Don't get me wrong, I love to work, I am not lazy. But I need the job to stay the same for years and years. I just want to feel secure and wonder if I will ever have that. Abuse and neglect have destoyed my life even though I have worked so hard to have better. But my emotions are a daily torture. Tell me how to get out of this box and LIVE!!!!!
from IP address 63.225.133.242
Respond to this message
Goto Forum Home