I have not been to this site in a long time. So many things have been happening to me lately.
Last month I miscarried my baby. I was almost four months pregnant. It was terrifying.
Also, my husband lost his job. When this happened, we couldn't pay our rent. The landlord evicted us. We're staying with friends.
In psychology class at school, my professor had us read "When Rabbit Howls". Major trigger! I haven't been able to sleep through the night since then.
I'm remembering and flashing back all the time. Everything triggers me lately.
I am a recovering alcoholic. I was sober for almost a year. The other day, my husband and I had an argument. I left the house after he went to work. I needed to take a walk. When I realized where I had walked, I called a friend to pick me up. I found myself in a bar, never intending to order a drink. When my friend picked me up, the bartender asked me if I was going to pay for the beer I had ordered. I don't remember ever ordering that beer. I told the bartender I don't drink. So, what the hell happened there?
When I got to my friend's house, she threatened to call the police. She said that she would not allow me to threaten suicide in her house. I told her I never said I was going to kill myself. She said that I told her I was going to swallow all my Paxil and Zyprexa pills. I don't remember telling her this. She calmed me down, but I'm still freaked about the whole incident. It doesn't make sense.
What happened to me that day?
Dina
Posted on Jul 23, 2001, 6:47 PM from IP address 198.173.24.162