My Name is Traci. Just rebounding from a tough therapy session and needed to 'talk out loud'.
I've been in and out of therapy for hmmm...6 yrs or so. I've healed alot, really alot. And decided (what was I thinking) to go back to therapy and do the 'core abuse' work that I've been avoiding and refusing to do. And on nights like tonite when it feels like 'why am I doing this again?!' its hard to stay motivated and have faith in the process and in the trails that have been blazed by courageous women before us (like Terrie), but I will rebound in a couple of days and feel the clarity seeping in, and the resolve to never be a victim, and the desire to share the journey with those important to me, and the even stronger desire to reach out a hand to those who aren't there yet.
My story....still unfolding..even to me...that happens when you do 'core abuse' work.. but I digress.
My 2 older brothers and myself were removed from a neglected environment when I was about 4 yrs old. One of my brothers and I were raised as adoptive children with a maternal great aunt and uncle who had 6 children of their own, my oldest brother (emotionallly delayed) was placed with my maternal grandmother.
Ove a period of many (21)years I was sexually abused by all 6 of my foster siblings and 1 of my biological siblings; as well as my foster father. Core abuse work means I get to feel the effects of that much abuse and rebuild my life based upon the truth of where I was, and where I am. Still a alot of work to do but and right now it don't feel like i'm ever going to get there. Not fun. But necessary for me.
While I'm not DID, I have met many dear dear sister survivors on forums similar to this one who I'll always hold dear to my heart. I'm here if you need to talk.
So, that's my story, so far. I'm sure there's more to come. Thanks for being a witness to my healing journey.