Healing Our Lives (Moderated)

This is a place of connection and healing for survivors of childhood abuse. Please note that the banner below is not by my choice, but is necessary for me to be able to provide you with this free site. Other places of interest include Angry Expressions where you can express you anger, and Memory Meadow where you can share your memories. Also, please feel free to go to Healing Our Lives Chat to talk in real time with other survivors, or I have started another chat room which you can access by clicking the button below.

If no one is there, and/or you want to chat with just me, you may do so whenever I am online by clicking on the button below:

Hi Terrie

by Terry (no login)

I have been thinking about what you said about my little guy learning when are the good times to come out vs not good times. I am very fortunate that my littles only ever come out in t or when I am at home alone. My older parts seem to provide this level of "protection" for me and Im grateful. The only parts of me that come out in public are the older ones and its generally around work or mothering stuff when I'm not doing so well and need their help. When I collected my kids from school today I felt like I hadn't picked them up for days but of course I had, I had been getting support from within!

Makes me pretty lucky.

much love

Terry

Posted on Sep 4, 2002, 5:08 AM
from IP address 203.166.44.252

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Cool!

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

Sounds like you have a very functional and helpful group! Yay for you! I hear you had a good day with some friends and they made you smile.

I'm so glad...you deserve happy times.

Love you,
Terrie

Posted on Sep 4, 2002, 8:24 PM
from IP address 152.163.189.104

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I noticed all the songs and I have one too!

by (Login MothersKeeper)

I noticed that a few people have posted songs, so I decided that I would post one that describes how I feel every time I have a flashback to my father raping me when I was a child.

LAST RESORT
PAPA ROACH

Cut my life into pieces
I've reached my last resort, suffocation, no breathing
Don't give a f*** if I cut my arm bleeding
Do you really care if I die bleeding?
Would it be wrong, would it be right?
Chances are dynamite
Mutilation out of sight
And I'm contemplating suicide
Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind
I wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Losing my sight, losing my mind
I wish somenody would tell me I'm fine
Nothing's alright, nothing is fine
I'm running and I'm crying
I can't go one living this way

Posted on Aug 29, 2002, 8:58 PM
from IP address 63.88.160.101

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wow.... (lyrics above may trigger)

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

Those are such descriptive lyrics! Thank you so much for sharing. I'm sorry you feel that way when you have flashbacks...I know those are hard.

Peace,
Terrie

Posted on Aug 29, 2002, 9:39 PM
from IP address 64.12.96.200

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I need advice

by (Login MothersKeeper)

I am a survivor of sexual abuse at the hands of my father and I am dating a young man who was also raped by his father. Because of this, and due to my overprotective nature, I am very worried that I will do something to hurt him unintentionally. He worries about me just as much, so we are constantly trying to assure each other that we are okay. I love him dearly and felt a connection with him the moment I met him, but I believe that this issue of trying to protect each other from every little bad thing in the world may become a problem in the future. Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I should handle this, or do you think that we are doing just fine the way we are? I would appreciate any advice you may have to offer.

Posted on Aug 29, 2002, 8:44 PM
from IP address 63.88.160.101

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Hi Lisa

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

Welcome to Healing Our Lives. I can certainly understand your dilemma. I, too, have dated survivors (and am one myself) and in most instances we did at times trigger each others issues. It is important to be respectful of each others issues. But at the same time, walking on eggshells doesn't tend to be very comfortable, and can eventually lead to resentments. I would suggest that you sit down and have a heart to heart (as often as necessary) where you can really truely express your feelings, including your fears (of hurting each other and of being hurt). Talk about particular triggers and see if you can come to a level of being where you can still set and respect boundaries, while at the same time not walking on eggshells. I hope this helps. I do knowthere are books available for survivors and partners. Feel free to look on my webpage at http://www.geocities.com/wellesley/5585 to see if you can find one or two that might help. And by all means, feel free to write here anytime!

Peace,
Terrie

Posted on Aug 29, 2002, 9:36 PM
from IP address 64.12.96.200

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Hi Terrie

by Cassie (no login)

Thanks for emailing Margaret. I'm doing ok. Its kinda rough here for everyone but I'm ok. I have started doing some craft things which I like so thats good.

See ya

Posted on Aug 22, 2002, 9:56 PM
from IP address 203.166.44.252

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Hi Cassie.

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

Crafts, eh? What kinds of crafts are you doing? I'd love to see them. hehe

Love,
Terrie

Posted on Aug 23, 2002, 6:19 PM
from IP address 205.188.209.105

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Hi everyone

by Terry (no login)

Not having a very good day today...feeling pretty low. I had t yesterday and a new little one came out and while I don't hate the little one I just don't want anymore parts to me. Its too much, its so overwhelming.

Terry

Posted on Aug 22, 2002, 9:53 PM
from IP address 203.166.44.252

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{{{{{{{{{{Terry}}}}}}}}}}

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

Terry, I embrace you, and your new little one, in my heart. I am so sorry you are having such a difficult time. Please know that I'm here for you and that I love you.

Safe hugs,
Terrie

Posted on Aug 23, 2002, 6:19 PM
from IP address 205.188.209.105

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Hi

by Terry (no login)

Thanks for your never ending love. I have kept so busy the last few days...all in an effort to not think, not feel, it hasn't worked too well. However I have cleaner windows!!

I think what is so difficult for me to accept graciously about my new little one is that "he" was rolling around on the floor playing trucks! My other littles are much quieter and from what t told me this new little guy is so busy. What I'm trying to say is I don't like the idea of anyone seeing me behave in a way that is not "normal", hard to find the right word.

Makes me feel I might be going crazy

love

Terry

Posted on Aug 25, 2002, 10:50 PM
from IP address 203.166.44.252

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Hi Terry

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

I can certainly understand about being uncomfortable with his busyness, compared to the quietness of your others. I assure you, though, that you are NOT going crazy. And if someone sees him thinking it is you....well, then they will think you are having a day when you feel more like playing....hehe. Hope that you and he are able to talk and he can learn about good times to come out vs. not so good times to come out. I think that will help lots.

Love you,
Terrie

Posted on Aug 26, 2002, 9:31 PM
from IP address 152.163.189.104

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Need a name for US

by dawni & etc (no login)

We been thinking about names we could use for us as a whole. This has been on our minds for a couple of years now, we just can't decide... maybe you guys could help??

These are the ones we like so far, but if anyone can think of something else maybe we could talk that over too...

* The Rose (loads of petals complete the flower)
* Rose Petals (^^ see above)
* The (Samantha) Community (community's worth of people in one body)
* The Garden (a garden isn't complete without a variety of things inside it -- plants, mazes, statues.. whatever)
* Garden Flowers (most gardens are full of flowers)
* Night Sky (sky is not complete without the million stars & moons & etc)

...Suggestions? Help? ..I'm beginning to think we'll never cometo a decision on this!

Love, dawni & etc

Posted on Aug 19, 2002, 8:03 AM
from IP address 211.28.96.7

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dawni

by Jamie-lee (no login)

ill will be honest an hope its ok 2 say i dont full on get the question but this is the last time ill will be online for a bit so cant not wait 2 get ideas from any one elses answer but i WANNA answer ya an i wanna tell ya now that outta all them names yr thinkin of the night sky is me fav but only cause i luv the stars an i aint no girly girl an not much into flowers an stuff but i reckon u should chose which eva 1 means most 2 u or which eva 1 feels most comfortable... an plus good luck an i hope ya can decide on 1 u like.....night night..luv from Jamie-lee

Posted on Aug 19, 2002, 8:38 AM
from IP address 144.134.236.91

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Hi Dawni

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

I think I remember y'all using the name petals before, and if I'm remembering wrong, I still have that in my head, so I vote for rose petals. hehe

Love,
Terrie

Posted on Aug 19, 2002, 6:26 PM
from IP address 205.188.198.22

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Terrie

by cassie (no login)

I would like to write to Margaret but have lost her email address. Can you email her and ask her to write to me so I can write to her. Hope you get what I mean.

Thanks

Posted on Aug 13, 2002, 11:46 PM
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Hi Cassie

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

I will be happy to ask her to write to you. How are you doing? I've missed you.

Love,
Terrie

Posted on Aug 14, 2002, 6:09 PM
from IP address 205.188.198.57

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Hi again :)

by Terry (no login)

sorry I came and then disappeared!! My hubby did something (Ive no idea what) to the computer and then he couldn't get our internet connection up and going. By the time he had I had fallen into the big hole of depressive goop and couldn't get out of my own way!!

So, I'm trying to make light if what has in reality been a pretty ruggard month. Have had the last week off work, on sick leave. I have a great GP and when I told her I wanted to run away from my family but couldn't so I wanted to run away from work instead, she just signed me off. Told me I was doing great for coming and asking and come back if I wanted some more time off. It has made a big difference. I have been able to get my thoughts together and made a plan of the things I want to change and how I can go about it. My T keeps saying slowly slowly and I will take it all slowly but it feels good to have a plan.

Anyway, that's it for now, hope everyone is doing ok.

Sandra, I will email you soon sweetie, I still love you a whole lot.

Terry

Posted on Aug 13, 2002, 5:05 AM
from IP address 203.166.44.252

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{{{{{{{Terry}}}}}}}}

by (no login)

Oh, it is so good to see you again! I'm so sorry you have been feeling so yucky, but hope that your action plan will work and that you will be feeling more like yourself again soon. I know that dealing with depression can be sooooo hard! I'm glad you got some time off work though, and hope that it is helping.

One of lilly's friends was asking about her just the other day over in A Safe Place. If she is feeling up to it, she might want to go have a peek.

Please know that I'm here for you, always. You are so dear to me....

Love and safe hugs,
Terrie

Posted on Aug 13, 2002, 4:11 PM
from IP address 65.85.249.194

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Great to get those hugs

by Terry (no login)

I think my plans will help....at least for a bit. Feel somehow clearer in my head. Would you please email me with Sandras email address....my account got closed down and I've lost all my contacts. My email is still the same.

Thanks friend

Terry

Posted on Aug 13, 2002, 8:55 PM
from IP address 203.166.44.252

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TERRYYYYYYY

by (no login)

you ok? miss yu....miss yu sooo muchhh
is yu all ok? sandra

mi email there

Posted on Aug 14, 2002, 12:58 AM
from IP address 24.203.134.90

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thanks everybody!

by Dee (no login)

I feel so crazy right now, I need all the supoort I can get. Thank you all so much. It is so nice to finally be believed, I can't tell you. And then to come here and have all of you be so supportive, it makes me cry. I wish I knew people like you when I was growing up then I wouldn't be in this mess. Thanks for listening and helping me out now.

Thanks again,
Dee

Posted on Aug 9, 2002, 6:48 AM
from IP address 151.196.241.185

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Dee

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

I'm glad to be able to be here for you Dee.

Peace,
Terrie

Posted on Aug 12, 2002, 7:37 AM
from IP address 64.12.104.49

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Post from Beachcomber moved to Memory Meadow

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

Posts that have high potential of being triggering, involving dreams or memories and such, go on the Memory Meadow. I have moved your post there, and will answer it there. Welcome!!!

Terrie

Posted on Aug 8, 2002, 5:53 PM
from IP address 205.188.193.169

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i reported the bastards

by dee (no login)

last friday me and my therapist called child protection services. they are gonna do an investigation. i just had to tell you guys. the thought of them being afraid of me for once makes me so happy. right now i am feeling scared and little though. will i get taken seriously this time or what? what happens if they go to jail? i am still terrified of them. has anybody done this and if so what happened? did i do the right thing? i'm just not sure.
thanks,
dee

Posted on Aug 7, 2002, 7:40 AM
from IP address 151.196.240.160

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hey dee

by Jamie-lee (no login)

i dont reckon i got much 2 say that can help but 2 one of ya questions of what happens if they goto jail well me step dads in there now an been on trial 4 almost 2 weeks an tomorrow we get to no if hes guilty or not an well i no he is already but it aint not for me to decide but already hes been bashed 2 times an hurt pretty bad in a ways he did hurt me an gotta be in a protection part of jail so jail dont sound all that fun for em...i hope everythin goes ok for ya with the investigation an all an 2 that ya get took serously...good luck with everythin..
Later......

Posted on Aug 7, 2002, 9:41 AM
from IP address 203.54.111.12

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CHEERS TO YOU!!!

by Mary (no login)

It is hard, but you did do the right thing. They will get what's coming to them. Rest assured.

I'm so proud of you.

Posted on Aug 7, 2002, 12:32 PM
from IP address 63.161.12.129

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that takes courage

by beachcomber (no login)

I know no one knows me here yet, but I had to say good for you. Feeling little is to be expected. You just told a big secret and might even feel like a kid who just did something bad. Do what you need for (positive) comfort while you feel this way. I know some of the feelings your having. Scared and elated all at the same time. I charged 2 of my abusers. It does feel good to have them be scared of you for once doesn't it? It is a very empowering thing. To know that they are scared as you were. Wait til you face them in a court room. You might even feel all powerful. What a feeling that is! I highly recommend that for therapy! Ha ha ha!
I do hope that you get taken seriously. I was. I was adult age by then. Nothing pisses me off more than someone not being believed. Experience says to keep telling till some one believes you.
One abuser was used in the court system as a witness against the other and the one did do some jail time. I don't have alot of faith in our justice system, but I think I am in a different country than you. Having been through what I have with the 'system' I still say you did the right thing. The more of us who tell, the less of them that can continue. It is the secrecy you know. ;~)
I went full out public with the press and such.
I am no longer scared of any them. They hold no fear over me. Like they say, you are only as sick as your secrets. Once those secrets are gone, wow! It is very freeing. But it takes time. Don't let shame rule you. Stand up proud and say 'yes this happened to me and someone needs to be held accountable'. (Mind you I am a loud mouth these days.)
Today, I am an open book for anyone who needs to talk about this stuff, having gone down that road myself.
This might get you some unwanted attention. Work with your worker or hook in with Victim Service programs for support.
I say "ya done good". All the best to you.

Posted on Aug 7, 2002, 3:59 PM
from IP address 24.77.82.6

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Oh yes...

by Mary (no login)

my mother wants me to stop telling everyone under the sun. When I've only actually just told my family thus far. Only because it's her shame for her son. Well, I'm sorry, but she's had ample time (16 years to be exact) to deal with this and has chosen not to, so I'm doing it my way now.

I'm glad that justice was served in your case. Good for you.

Posted on Aug 8, 2002, 1:03 PM
from IP address 63.161.12.129

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Good for you!

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

I'm so proud of you Dee! That's a big step! I am here to support you as you go through this. I can sure understand the range of emotions you are feeling. I have a friend online who got her dad locked up 30 years after he abused her, so I know it can be done! Please let me know if I can do anything for you!

Peace,
Terrie

Posted on Aug 7, 2002, 7:32 PM
from IP address 152.163.189.104

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to Tam

by Jamie-lee (no login)

am just wantin 2 say ive been thinkin about ya an i did find a poem thing on the net i wanna put her for ya...hope ya doin ok... luv from Jamie-lee
k hope this can work....

Posted on Aug 6, 2002, 5:21 AM
from IP address 144.134.235.21

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to Mary

by J-l (no login)

i do just wanna tell ya that im am thinkin of ya...an for what eva time u get this i hope things do go or things did go ok for u today an that your mothers son didnt not go to your mothers retirement party.
from Jamie-lee

Posted on Aug 4, 2002, 4:52 AM
from IP address 144.134.239.187

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Thank you so much....

by Mary (no login)

that is so kind of you. Things went very well. We all had a wonderful time and my mother's son did not show up. I was very happy. Now, hopefully, no one else retires anytime soon. LOL

Thank you for your thoughts. They mean so much.

Mary

Posted on Aug 5, 2002, 12:14 PM
from IP address 63.161.12.129

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Yayayyayay!!!!!

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

I'm so pleased to hear this! And I'm so proud of you for standing your ground!

Smiles,
Terrie

Posted on Aug 5, 2002, 5:43 PM
from IP address 64.12.96.200

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Proud

by Mary (no login)

I'm very proud also. Thank you so much. And thank you for talking with me the other night also. I'm very happy. This past week, I have accomplished so much. I have never wanted to actually write that letter, but I did. And it even got sent in the mail. And I even talked to my mother about things. It feels really good.

Posted on Aug 6, 2002, 11:07 AM
from IP address 63.161.12.129

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yw an

by J-l (no login)

an i reckon thats real great he didnt not show up an that also u got to have a wonderful time

.... YIPPEEEEEEEEEEE.....

Posted on Aug 5, 2002, 11:23 PM
from IP address 144.134.235.63

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joinin the circus

by Jamie-lee (no login)

just tellin any one who wants 2 no that im am not gunna be round on the net or the boards no more an im am leavin home 2 join the circus.. j/k

... am just leavin 2 live me life how i gotta an how i should...i wanna wish any one who reads this best of luck with ya lives an familys an just everythin else u got in ya lives.. this place of terries has helped me heaps just noin i werent alone an 2 that some stuff i felt some days werent wierd or nothin an i dont reckon ill never forget some of the peeps here an i spose im am tryin 2 say thanx 2 an thats is it really so ill will say goodbye 2 ya's now... good luck for everythin u do in ya lifes...
from Jamie-lee

Posted on Aug 2, 2002, 8:49 AM
from IP address 203.54.111.81

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Jamie Lee...

by dawni (no login)

I just wanted to say that you will be sorely missed...

Maybe if you read this you will e-mail us and get our snail mail address before you go. If you want, anyway. 'Cause we would like to hear how you are doing from time to time, whenver you have a spare moment or 45c to send a letter

Love, dawni & etcs

Posted on Aug 2, 2002, 10:45 AM
from IP address 211.28.96.39

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dawni ects.......

by Jamie-lee (no login)

im about 2 leave now so wont not be round 2 get any more emails but thanx 2 ya's anyways an if i was gunna be round an on the net again i would write ya... was real good noin ya but an i hope yr life goes real well for ya all....

Posted on Aug 2, 2002, 1:06 PM
from IP address 203.54.111.147

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Jamie-lee

by (no login)

I'm sure you know by now that I don't think this is the best choice, and I am hoping you will change your mind...but regardless of what you do, I wish you peace and happieness, because that is what you deserve. I hope you will continue to write to me, cuz I know I sure will miss you if you don't.

Love you,
Terrie

Posted on Aug 2, 2002, 11:11 AM
from IP address 65.85.249.194

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terrie

by Jamie-lee (no login)

Yup i do no ya dont reckon me livin me own life an doin what i wanna do aint the best choice but i spose i dont agree an i been livin this life an doin what other peeps want for 2 long an i reckon i got the right 2 do what i wanna do....i aint no puppet an am sick of bein treated like some stupid kid who does what ever any one wants me doin an thats is how the peeps in my life treat me an im am sick of it.. they dont not give a toss about me anyways so to hell with em an all they interested in is gettin money from me cause ya no they all do in some ways...the person im am spose 2 stay livin with gets money for havin me here an the lawyers gettin money all cause i opened me stupid mouth an the shrinks gettin money to tell me i should think this or not that or whatever other stuff shes got no clue about....yeh i been real good value for peeps huh an its used 2 be for drugs an sex an now its just for only money an u no im am sick of bein used an thats is all peeps eva do well not no more cause im am about 2 make sure no one can eva get nothin outta me eva again....ya right peace an happyness is what i deserve an im am gunna get it...hope everythin goes good for ya with ya future...

Posted on Aug 2, 2002, 1:09 PM
from IP address 203.54.111.147

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read mi email jaime-lee

by lisa (no login)

i hop yu reed it..an hop one dai u lik ursel enuf tu stop wantin run awi..cuz u dont see it now but u trying tu run awai from yursel an it dont work...yu alwai be yu...hav tu accep yu lik yu are...an like yurself like yu are...
hope yu not mad wit me tu sai tat...

i car for yu an like yu mi frind

lisa

Posted on Aug 3, 2002, 9:22 AM
from IP address 24.202.244.94

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lisa

by J-l (no login)

well ya no by now i got ya email an i do feel kinda stupid for postin here after me last post but well i just did only wanna tell ya that im am not mad at ya for what u did say an yr right ok.....an i hope ya can have a good day...
from Jamie-lee

Posted on Aug 4, 2002, 4:55 AM
from IP address 144.134.239.187

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am glad yur here...

by lisa (no login)

and yu staid an if yu ask for help am sure terrie an others have ideas tu help yu ..an maibe yu an i can talk for long time and yu wont sai again yur leaving...

and one dai yu sai...i luv miself....haaa

take care mi friend

lisa

Posted on Aug 4, 2002, 9:04 PM
from IP address 24.202.244.94

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hey lisa

by J-l (no login)

lisa......i promise ya i wont not say im am leavin eva again ok an so is kool bout me talkin to no one.... is kinda hard to say what i wanna but thing is i only dont not fit in here were am livin an no talkin 2 no one can eva change the feelins i got but is all good cause i only got 2 be here for 2 more yrs an 7 more mths an i can leave legaly an wont not get braught back... an im am gunna ask u somethin now an i wanna say b4 i do that its is totally kool if u dont not wanna answer ok... anyways i was wantin 2 ask u no the peeps in yr family like u an max an paule an i think nat an not real sure of the others now but like do anyone exept u cause i no ya 2 young but any one else got kids like not in with in im not real sure how to say what im meanin but like anyone gave birth 2 kids at all might explain what im meanin..? an well oh im am gunna email u the rest of what im am tryin 2 ask ya....anyways u take care 2 an im am glad we can be friends cause i reckon ya pretty kool...an i hope ya have a good day...
from Jamie-lee

Posted on Aug 5, 2002, 5:28 AM
from IP address 203.54.111.7

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j-l

by lisa (no login)

am tinking of how i esplain tu yu..ok..i email yu the anser ok..
be gud..thinkin og yu
lisa

Posted on Aug 7, 2002, 12:20 AM
from IP address 24.202.244.94

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Song about disfunction 4 u

by Beachcomber (no login)

Been reading here recently, wondering about joining in, not really ready.
I have a song I liked for years. Still do actually. Here's the chorus of the song but I don't recall the rest of the lyrics. It's done in a really upbeat tempo and sounds like a 'fun' song till you actually listen to the words. Very much like disfunction in the way he did the song. Like things are okay, until you take a closer look.

Artist: John (Cougar) Mellencamp
Album: Human Wheels (1993)
Song: Case 795 (The Family)

"Everything's all right with the family.
Everything is safe here at home.
Everythings all right with the family.
The beds are made but theres no sheets on."

I shared the song with my councellor (cd walkman) and when she asked how things were going for me I would sometimes answer "I haven't got my sheets on today". She knew where I was at at that moment!

Posted on Jul 31, 2002, 4:43 PM
from IP address 24.77.82.6

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Hi there

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

Thank you so much for sharing....you have made a very good point that yes, everything often does look ok until you get a closer look.

Peace,
Terrie

Posted on Jul 31, 2002, 6:02 PM
from IP address 64.12.96.200

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T3erry

by Sndra (no login)

you here? uyou ok?
miss yu
sandra

Posted on Jul 27, 2002, 2:41 PM
from IP address 24.202.48.211

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me last song

by J-l (no login)

RUNAWAY TRAIN
Soul Asylum

Call you up in the middle of the night
Like a firefly without a light
You were there like a blowtorch burning
I was a key that could use a little turning

So tired that I couldn't even sleep
So many secrets I couldn't keep
I promised myself I wouldn't weep
One more promise I couldn't keep

It seems no one can help me now,
I'm in too deep; there's no way out
This time I have really led myself astray

Runaway train, never going back
Wrong way on a one-way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there

Can you help me remember how to smile?
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded?
Life's mystery seems so faded

I can go where no one else can go
I know what no one else knows
Here I am just a-drownin' in the rain
With a ticket for a runaway train

And everything seems cut and dried,
Day and night, earth and sky,
Somehow I just don't believe it

Runaway train, never going back
Wrong way on a one-way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there

Bought a ticket for a runaway train
Like a madman laughing at the rain
A little out of touch, a little insane
It's just easier than dealing with the pain

Runaway train, never going back
Wrong way on a one-way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there

Runaway train, never coming back
Runaway train, tearing up the track
Runaway train, burning in my veins
I run away but it always seems the same

Posted on Jul 25, 2002, 10:49 PM
from IP address 144.134.235.53

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ditto

by (Login rynn)
Learning To Thrive

there are a hundred thousand really great songs out there, about all sorts of issues in life. i just like this one a lot.

Ruins
By: Melissa Etheridge
Album: Yes I Am

Don't try to call
There are some bridges that burn
Beyond recognition beyond repair
Don't say you've changed
There are some forces that turn
Beyond recollection beyond my stare
When I feel the cold in the dark
I know you're there

Long ago I was a woman in pain
A woman in need
I ran to you
Long ago I did not understand
You were making me bleed
I ran to you
When I feel the cold in the dark
I know what you do

I will crawl through my past
Over stones blood and glass
In the ruins
Reaching under the fence
As I try to make sense
In the ruins

I know your heart has held its own fear
It's perfectly clear
What they did to you
In my heart it's the screaming I hear
I won't let them come near
Since my love knew you
When I feel the cold in the dark
I remember you

I will crawl through my past
Over stones blood and glass
In the ruins
Reaching under the fence
As I try to make sense
In the ruins

Night after night
I am carving it out
I will carry it down to the waterside
Night after night
I am hearing the sound
Of wings that come beating
I will not hide
When I feel the cold in the dark
I will know why

I will crawl through my past
Over stones blood and glass
In the ruins
Reaching under the fence
As I try to make sense
In the ruins

But if I am to heal
I must first learn to feel
In the ruins
I will crawl

Posted on Jul 25, 2002, 11:07 PM
from IP address 64.255.216.249

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cool song..an i got just 1 more 2...promise all will be last 1 if any ones sick of this..

by Jamie-lee (no login)

i do like the sounds of that song an am gunna look an see if its has a MP3...an i got another one i found tonight on a cd of the person i live with an i never did hear of these peeps b4 so not real sure who they are but the song sounds real good... an is another slow one..

EVERYBODY HURTS
By The Corrs

When your day is long
And the night
And the night is your's alone
When you think you've had enough
Of this life
Hang on

Don't let yourself go
'Cause everybody cries
And everybody hurts
Sometimes

Sometimes everything is wrong
Now it's time to sing along
When your day is night hold on
Hold on (hold on)
If you feel like letting go
(Hold on)
If you're sure you've had too much
Of this life
Hang on

'Cause everybody hurts
Sometimes
Take comfort in your friends
And everybody hurts

Don't blow your hand
Oh-oh no
Don't blow your hand
If you feel like you're alone
No, no, no, not alone

If you're on your own
In this life
The days and nights are long
You're sure you've had too much
Of this life
To hang on

Yeah everybody hurts
Sometimes
Everybody cries
Sometimes
Everybody hurts
Sometimes

Everybody hurts sometimes

So hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on

To know you're not alone

Posted on Jul 28, 2002, 6:38 AM
from IP address 203.54.168.51

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think we know it..!

by dawni (no login)

smile not sick of them at all...
and I think we know this one, but sung by REM..

love, dawni

Posted on Jul 29, 2002, 4:41 AM
from IP address 211.28.96.7

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I like these songs..

by Mary (no login)

I think these songs are neat. I enjoy reading them. Thanks.

Posted on Jul 29, 2002, 12:06 PM
from IP address 24.118.80.108

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prolonging the lyricfest

by (Login rynn)
Learning To Thrive

the lyrics are certainly MT, but this is a great song on a great album.

Daddy's Song
By: Toni Childs
Album: House of Hope

while you're standing there
I'm standing in a field
in my mind
you can't take that away from me
daddy comes to me
in darkness not in light
why I gave you all my love
and you showed no mercy

you tried to pin me down
with emotion feeling things
a butterfly display
a symbol fall from grace
I'm closing down my heart
I'm putting up the wall
why I gave you all my love
and you showed no mercy

here I sit
looking to the light
in my head
I have the peace of mind
I've lost tonight
there are flowers here
and hills and horses too
I ride in my dreams and
I'm afraid I'll have to go back
go back to the night
daddy holds me tight
I'm losing my mind
I'm losing my head
someone help me now
daddy comes to me
in darkness not in light
why I gave you all my love
and you showed no mercy

I just want to know now
what it is to survive
daddy's song and daddy's lies
I've gotta know (repeat)
what it is
how it happened
I've just got to know now
what it is to survive
daddy's song and daddy's lies
I've gotta know (repeat)

what it is
how it happened
I've just got to know now
what it means to survive
and to live out daddy's lies
I've got to live
I've got to live
I've got to live
I've got to live

Posted on Jul 24, 2002, 10:40 AM
from IP address 64.255.216.249

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same album...diff song...

by Jamie-lee (no login)

I WANT TO WALK WITH YOU

I keep finding this decision hard
I keep finding a room that's in the dark
I don't know, shed some light on it
maybe save me from what I'm feeling
this lonely day
cause the secret's out and the secret's clear
what I want

yes I want to walk with you
I want to hear you say "yes I want that too"
I want to walk, I want to walk with you
I want to hear you say "yes I want that too"

can I tell you what I cannot tell myself
in my thoughts there's a voice calling
"you will be lost"
in my life I deny, deny this heavy load
and obsession is clearly my need to know
can I let it out, can I let you know
what I want

I don't want to run from this
it seems that it'd be hard to do now
I don't want to lose my head
falling down in front of you
I don't want to lose my head now
it could be so easy to do
if I could find a reason why
I'd stay here, stay here, stay here
stay here, stay

I want to give love
I want to share
I want to show you just how much I care
I want to hold you
I want to touch
I want to give my love away
I want to walk
I want to walk
I want to know what it is in my soul

Posted on Jul 24, 2002, 11:54 PM
from IP address 203.54.111.227

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thumbs up

by (Login rynn)
Learning To Thrive

though House of Hope is still my favorite.

Posted on Jul 25, 2002, 11:04 AM
from IP address 64.255.216.249

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agree with ya

by Jamie-lee (no login)

i like that one 2 an i just like all her songs an the ways she sings an all even that there kinda slow an cant always can find a meanin 2 em...shes pretty awesome...

Posted on Jul 25, 2002, 6:53 PM
from IP address 203.54.111.177

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Another good song ((which you've probably all heard))

by dawni (no login)

We first heard this song quite a few years ago and we fell in love with it. It can be a little bit triggering for physical abuse survivors though, so please be careful.

It's sung mostly by an adorable little girl but some parts are sung by a lady with a very strong voice.

"Dear Mr. Jesus"

Dear Mr. Jesus, I just had to write to you
Something really scared me, when I saw it on the news
A story 'bout a little girl beaten black and blue
Jesus, thought I'd take this right to you

Dear Mr. Jesus, I don't understand
Why they took her mom and dad away
I know that they don't mean to hit with wild and angry hands
Tell them just how big they are I pray

Please don't let them hurt your children
We need love and shelter from the storm
Please don't let them hurt your children
Won't you keep us safe and warm

Dear Mr. Jesus, they say that she may die
Oh I hope the doctors stop the pain
I know that you could save her and take her up to the sky
So she would never have to hurt again

Please don't let them hurt your children...

Dear Mr. Jesus, please tell me what to do
And please don't tell my daddy
But my mommy hits me, too.

Please don't let them hurt your children...

words and music by Richard Klender � 1985 Klenco, Inc. (Klenco Music Group),

Posted on Jul 24, 2002, 7:28 AM
from IP address 210.49.70.22

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just a life question

by Jamie-lee (no login)

this is kinda a question to any one an well i was just wonderin like how do ya no for sure if ya no what ya wanna do in life...? like i was readin what Tam did say about how she feels like a failure for bein a housewife an for not goin to college an what Mary did say about how she did choose to support herself from a early age an did no in the 7th grade what she did wanna do.. an just say ya think ya no for certainly sure ya wanna go an support yaself an get on with ya life do ya go for it an see what happens.. ? like does any one full on regret a choice they did make in this kinda sense..?

Posted on Jul 23, 2002, 4:45 AM
from IP address 203.54.167.1

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That is a good question...

by Mary (no login)

I would first of all like to say that no one is a failure for what they do (whether it was their own choice or not). Every one has different goals in life. I was so very upset and angry with what happened when I younger that I swore I would never rely on a man for anything. And, to be honest, I don't even do what I went to college for. That I regret. My initial plan was to go to college and after graduation move to Florida. I love that state. Things didn't turn out as planned and other things happened that altered my future, but ultimately, as I look back, I believe they happened for a reason. I think God laid that path out for me. I had plans, but he had different plans for me, obviously. LOL So, to answer your question, I do have regrets about some things, but I've learned to accept them and move on. I like to believe that I am at the spot that God wants me to be at. And, it's scary deciding what you want to do. Trust me, there were times when I came home and threw my books on the table and cried and swore I couldn't go through with this college. It was just too hard and I just couldn't do it. But, I did do it. And although children were not in my main plan, I have two wonderful daughters now that I love dearly and do not regret. They are the light of my life and they have shown me what true love is. You need to aim high, if you trip a few times, that's ok. In the end, it works out for the best. I knew what I wanted to do because of what happened to me. And also what didn't happen to my perps. Law has always been an interesting field for me. I wanted to watch people hang for what they did. First hand. Probably not the best reason to choose a career field.... LOL.... but it worked, I guess.. LOL. I suppose if I hadn't been full of hate and anger as a teenager, I may have met some wonderful man (actually I did, but I treated him poorly and he eventually gave up on me) and had his children and stayed home. That sounds very appealing to me these days. But, even though I now have a wonderful man in my life, I still struggle daily with the relying on him issue. Even though I don't, but a relationship is give and take and I do rely on him for some things and that bothers me. But that's a different story. I would suggest searching for things that you like to do. Whether it's hobbies or what not. And then researching job fields from there. For example, my daughter loves animals, horses to be exact. I sent her to a horse camp for a week in June and she loved it. Now she wants to go for two weeks next summer, but I told her she has to save up for that extra week. I'll pay for one week, she has to pay for the second week. Her goal is to become a junior counselor when she's 16 and a counelor when she's 18. Which I think is wonderful because she'll be doing what she loves to do. If you enjoy music, which it sounds like you do, maybe you could check in to vo tech schools for something in that field. Dj, maybe.. :0 ) It will come to you, dear, have faith.

peace and love,
Mary

Posted on Jul 23, 2002, 8:54 AM
from IP address 63.161.12.129

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thanx

by Jamie-lee (no login)

Thanx heaps for all ya did say Mary an for sharin what ya did do an what ya daughter wants 2 do...was real helpful... have a nice day.
from Jamie-lee

Posted on Jul 23, 2002, 10:29 PM
from IP address 203.54.111.247

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