Healing Our Lives (Moderated)

This is a place of connection and healing for survivors of childhood abuse. Please note that the banner below is not by my choice, but is necessary for me to be able to provide you with this free site. Other places of interest include Angry Expressions where you can express you anger, and Memory Meadow where you can share your memories. Also, please feel free to go to Healing Our Lives Chat to talk in real time with other survivors, or I have started another chat room which you can access by clicking the button below.

If no one is there, and/or you want to chat with just me, you may do so whenever I am online by clicking on the button below:

Bach flower remedies

by Terry (no login)

Has anyone heard of these or used them??? I had a consult with a lady on the weekend and decided to give them a go. Just wondering if anyone has tried them and if they were good or not.

Cheers

Terry

Posted on Apr 8, 2003, 4:40 AM
from IP address 203.166.44.252

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Hi everyone

by Terry (no login)

Dearest Terrie, thankyou for your kind words....it would be wonderful to just hang out together. I'm doing ok this week concentrating more on what I do have in my life rather than what I don't have!

Hope, I feel that we have met in the past. Take care as you mend your fences. It sounds like you are doing a lot of real hard work and I know it can be exhausting. As for the meds you are taking I don't know much about them so I can't help you with any info.

Molly, thanks for telling me you understand the isolation of having DID, it was really weighing me down the other week.

Boys, how wonderful to see some young guys here, hope you have fun getting to know each other.


Take care

Terry

Posted on Apr 6, 2003, 10:30 PM
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hi Terry

by Hope (no login)

I think we have met here before, or maybe someplace else. Thanks for your kind words. And as for the meds, maybe just getting rid of them would get rid of my problems...hahaha
:]

Hope

Posted on Apr 7, 2003, 9:33 AM
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Hi Hope

by Terry (no login)

How I wish getting rid of meds would get rid of the problems

Have you ever heard of Bach flower remidies? I have only just started taking them, in the hope that I might feel better within myself. Obviously the lady I had the consult with about them thinks they are great just wondering if anyone else has heard of them being good or not.

take care

Terry

Posted on Apr 8, 2003, 4:36 AM
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Terry

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

I've never heard of Bach flowers....will have to research this some.

I'm so glad that you are concentrating on what you have instead of what you don't have. I personally like to keep my focus there.

I agree with you that it is great to see some young guys here. I invited them over to A Safe Place too, so they can have more than one home if they like. They are at kinda an in-between age, it seems, so will fit in some at each place. hehe

Love you lots,
Terrie

Posted on Apr 8, 2003, 9:34 AM
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hi Terry!

by Molly (no login)

I just wanted to say hi and I hope you are doing good.

love,
Molly

Posted on Apr 10, 2003, 4:39 AM
from IP address 203.51.72.241

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mending fences...

by (no login)

I was up early this morning and heard that Colin Powell was in Brussels "mending fences."
I believe that there will always be fences to mend if not with our own relationships, the countries' also.
I no longer have the ability to mend so many fences of my very own or those of insiders with others. How can a fence be mended if it is not welcomed, even with a good heap of protection on their part?
Terrie, you have shown me the kindness to mend the fences that I know of with you, yet, I am sure there are more...please let us mend the fences all around us (our friendship).
Mostly, it seems we don't even know of fences or hurts that need mending with aquaintances, friends, lovers, family, etc. Is it because we have shut down our trying to understand the needs of others or their valuable boundaries which we have over stepped?
I was sent an email which was one of those...the dreaded chain letter, which ultimately brings fear upon you for breaking it. It simply said that if you had a wish and sent the forwardable email to 5 friends within your age in minutes, then your wish absolutely would be granted.
My true wish in my life is for most, if not possibly all of my fences and those around me to be mended. Imagine, a fresh start with new understanding of one's manipulations and anger that comes out in the wrong way. Hatred and fear forever abolished. Security and friendships once more in place.
That would be my greatest wish.
For fences I have to mend here or to those who can get messages to others I desperately wish to mend fences with...I am truly sorry for the pain I have caused in those lives.
It would just make me a satisfied person to know that others knew I was at last, sincere. This would also go to my family, some of whom have deeply hurt me or abandoned me. I forgive them for who they are and what they believe about me. I only hope they could do the same. I'm not being a martyr for the first time in a long time.
This feels and I know, is right.
Thank you Sharon (my t) for helping me see my part of things...wanting attention, sabotaging relationships and especially for not taking the time to listen to the others being hurt by myself.
I can only hope that at least one person is touched by this, because it is that important.

mending fences...*sigh*
a sigh of relief from deep and old pain
I apologize for my own part.

Hope

Posted on Apr 3, 2003, 9:04 AM
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a definition of a fence

by Hope again (no login)

p.s.
a fence is still a protective boundary place which isn’t to be crossed, unless at an invitational gate

Posted on Apr 3, 2003, 9:11 AM
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Hope

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

I wish you luck in mending fences. I suspect many will not be willing to reciprocate, for whatever reasons, and I think that once you do your part, without putting any pressure on anyone, then whether or not they respond is on them....you have done what you can. And by the way, I'm not aware of fences between us. My main boundaries with you are to not talk to you about others I know that you have known, out of respect for their boundaries. I am still here though, and am available if you need/want to talk.

Love you,
Terrie

Posted on Apr 5, 2003, 12:07 AM
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ritalin? sleeping all the time?

by Hope (no login)

My nuerologist put me on ritalin for the way I fall asleep all the time. He's guessing narcolepsy. Does this happen to others? It scares me that I have to take a med for this. I'm used to falling asleep a lot, but it's starting to interfere with my life.
And then, Geodon...does anyone have to take this med? My t is crazy about it and she even talked to people last night about it. I think the Geodon makes me sleepy, but she says it shouldn't. The insiders aren't allowed out much where we live now and it's supposed to calm them down inside and help.
Personally, I think that there are some who just want to escape life and won't hurt us anymore, so they want to sleep.
Can anyone out there give me a hand about this?
And does ritalin give anyone sharp, stomache pains...just noticing it happens when I take it?
Any thoughts would be helpful.
Hope


Posted on Apr 2, 2003, 12:54 PM
from IP address 169.139.225.2

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Hi Hope

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

Ritalin is an upper/stimulant. When I took it, it made me high as a kite. It did not give me any shart pains....just made me talk non-stop and such. Personally, I take Provigil now to keep me awake. It is also a stimulant, but probably a bit milder, cuz it does not make me high but helps me stay awake.
Don't know much about Geodon, though have known a few people on it.

Love you,
Terrie

Posted on Apr 4, 2003, 11:57 PM
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hmmmm...

by Hope (no login)

I would have liked to see you talk non-stop! LOL!
love you too,
Hope

Posted on Apr 7, 2003, 9:27 AM
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LOL

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

Oh trust me...it was an experience! I had to excuse myself from a room in order to allow someone to work! LOL

Love you,
Terrie

P.S. I got your e-mail but am working both of my jobs today (am already at work now, and answer e-mail at home), so will not be able to reply until tomorrow evening.



Posted on Apr 8, 2003, 9:28 AM
from IP address 65.85.249.194

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Dawi

by Lisa (no login)

IS me lisa
i tink is beter if talk here...
i didnt find the movie yu talk about but i look again
i reading Miss C and i read the teacher (not sure of title cuz i read in french)
the wheter is niceer so going out more...
yu like going outside?wat yu do then?

have good day

lisa

Posted on Apr 2, 2003, 9:59 AM
from IP address 66.130.102.175

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hi lisa :)

by dawni (no login)

aww, i'm sorry you haven't been able to find that movie.
i'm glad the weather is nicer for you! it's getting a bit cold in the evening and morning times for us. brr. don't like winter - it doesn't even snow to make it worthwhile!

usually when i go outside lately its to pat the cat, or hang out the washing (with little neice's help). sometimes if it's warm enough i go for a 'swim' in our pool, but that's really tapered off now that winter is coming hehe.
what have you been doing outside lately?

oh, i forget if you like dogs, but in case you do i will tell you this. the body's mother got herself a new puppy a couple of weeks ago. the doggy is called brandy and she's a cross between a border collie and a dacshound giggles she's funny to see, but pretty too!

love,
dawni

Posted on Apr 6, 2003, 11:36 PM
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lost

by cassie (no login)

teree is dos bes in da rong pace is luks for da sweetipies wers dus dey bes
tree tops loves

Posted on Apr 1, 2003, 7:16 AM
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Hi cassie

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

I'm sorry that you are lost sweetie. The sweetiepies are are A Safe Place, at http://network54.com/Hide/Forum/45591 I hope you find them. Some of the others inside have been looking for you andhoping yu are safe.

Love you lots,
Terrie

Posted on Apr 4, 2003, 11:52 PM
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tankyous

by cassie (no login)

tanyous teree i dos gos thers nowls
tree top loves

Posted on Apr 5, 2003, 6:41 AM
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thanks Terrie

by Katy (no login)

aaaaaaaawwwwww thanks Terrie for sending Cassie of in the right direction,guess shes getting brave looking for things for herself

Posted on Apr 9, 2003, 3:58 AM
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any 11 yr old dudes out there????

by Kenny (no login)

I'm going fast here because last time I tied to come here, i got caught by the partner. She wuznt too happy about me being the one out front when she got home.
I'm Kenny, part of Hope's system or you may know her(us) as riley...
I'm bored to death in here and was wondering if there are any BOY insiders around?
Kenny an 11 year old bum
uhm...hi there angel lady!!!!!
how's the cats?

Posted on Mar 31, 2003, 3:10 PM
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hi Kenny!

by Pete (no login)

Hi Kenny Im a boy and Im one of Nikkis people and Im 9 and I like going camping and riding my bike and comics I didnt know there was any other boys on here so thats way cool Cya from Pete

Posted on Mar 31, 2003, 8:24 PM
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wow Pete!

by Kenny (no login)

I love camping too
I like making jokes and talking with funny accents too and building cool things outta legos, like kinda transformers.
I don't have a bike, but I watch real kids outside and across the lake doin stuff on a jump ramp and I wish I could really go out and play with them.
I'm glad to see some dudes here
Kenny

Posted on Apr 2, 2003, 12:22 PM
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kenny!

by cool! (no login)

wow i love makin stuff outta leggos too! i got these new leggos just for crismas. the jump ramp thing sounds so cool i wish i cud go there and play too Cya from Pete

Posted on Apr 3, 2003, 6:45 AM
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kind of.

by silenz. (no login)

hi kenny.
im silenz.
im not 11 but im not an other age neither.
im a boy tho.
how come you call yorself a bum?
whoze angel lady?
you like cats?
cats are ok.
i like dogs.
bye.

Posted on Apr 1, 2003, 7:59 AM
from IP address 211.28.96.8

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hi silenz

by Kenny (no login)

It don't matter how old you are, ya know?
angel lady is our friend Terrie who runs this place and has cats. Sumtimes, we miss her lots and wish we could just get in the car and go say hi. It's only a day drive away unless you go with Terrie and her friend and then it takes forever! haha
I guess I'm a bum cuz I don't get to do much outside anymores and when I do I get in trouble. I had a friend named trouble. He was big but he had a neat insider around my age. I was 9 then.
Why are you caled silenz? If anyone in us should be called silenz, it would be hopey... She's not anyway happy now and we hardly hear her say anything. I can see her hiding and crying though.
What do you like to do? do you have a dog?
Kenny

Posted on Apr 2, 2003, 12:31 PM
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kenny.

by silenz (no login)

hi kenny.
wow you live so close.
i bet we live hundred millyen mile away from you.
how come you get in trouble?
i get in trouble to.
coz i dont talk.
coz i got no voize.
we cant have dog here.
got 1 norty cat name tiger.
dono what i like.
what do you like?
bye.

Posted on Apr 5, 2003, 10:53 PM
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Hi

by Bill (no login)

Hi
I am Bill,I am 10.
I am protector of the litls...
Wy yu saI YUR A BUM?
I dont come out lots...cuz of my job.
is good to know other boys tho
i like to read to and watch movies.
dogs are the best ...

hi Terrie angel...

Bill

Posted on Apr 2, 2003, 9:56 AM
from IP address 66.130.102.175

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hiya back

by Kenny (no login)

I'm a protector too of kids inside like suzie...
She used to come here or to the littles board.
We read lots and the kind of books we like best are about adventures into strange lands. I like movies too. have you ever seen Superman Or X-Men?
Do you like computer games?
I have one called snood and I love that one! I used to watch Terrie and how she did it and I learned a lot about bouncing off the walls and dangling. If you don't have it, maybe you could find it under games somewhere and download it.
We can't download anymore games cuz our dumb windows isn't working on our puter.
I'm glad that you talked to me and just believe me when I say I'm a bum.
Later!
Kenny

Posted on Apr 2, 2003, 12:40 PM
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Hi Kenny, Pete, silenz and Bill!

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

It's great to see you all! I'm so glad you are getting to meet each other and get to know each other. You know what? I bet the kids board I have, A Safe Place, would be a great place to continue to do that, in addition to talking here some. The address there is http://network54.com/Hide/Forum/45591. Hope to see y'all there!!!!!

Smiles,
Terrie

Posted on Apr 4, 2003, 11:52 PM
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terrie.

by silenz (no login)

hi terrie.
is it okay i can go there?
coz i dont have a age?
some dayz im bigger.
some dayz im smaller.
bye.

Posted on Apr 5, 2003, 10:55 PM
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hi silenz

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

Of course it's ok...you don't have to have an age to post there, nor do you have to be real little. It's a board for pre-teens and occasionally even teens too.

Smiles,
Terrie

Posted on Apr 6, 2003, 5:38 PM
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noise

by Molly (no login)

There's so much noise going on inside my head right now. It's like everyone inside is fighting and screaming at each other and Nikki is keeping quiet and isn't trying to stop the fighting and I just want it to stop because it's loud and scary and I'm sorry if I'm not supposed to write this stuff here.

Love,
Molly

Posted on Mar 31, 2003, 5:38 AM
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Hi again Molly

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

It's ok to write stuff here. I'm sorry it's so loud and scary in your head. May I ask how old you are? Is there anything you could do to try to help the others get more organized and not so loud, since Nikki is not doing so at the moment. I think a bit part of having DID is learning to work together and for one to be able to take up and help when another is unable to for whatever reason.

Peace,
Terrie

Posted on Mar 31, 2003, 9:49 AM
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to Terrie

by Molly (no login)

Hi Terrie, thank you so much for writing back to me. I'm 14 and it's day time here now and things have settled down inside abit. You're right about all of us needing to work together too. I hope you're having a lovely day.

Love,
Molly

Posted on Mar 31, 2003, 8:26 PM
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*peeking out to say hello*

by Molly (no login)

I'm new here and I just wanted to say hello. I'm very nervous and scared about posting here so I hope it's ok.

Love,
Molly (who is one of Nikki's inside people)

Posted on Mar 29, 2003, 3:32 AM
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**waves**

by Katy (no login)

Hi Molly, nice to have you here

Posted on Mar 29, 2003, 10:03 AM
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welcome

by dawni (no login)

hi molly, its nice to meet you!

love, dawni

Posted on Mar 29, 2003, 4:25 PM
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thank you

by Molly & Nikki (no login)

thank you for the warm welcome.

-Nikki and Molly

Posted on Mar 30, 2003, 2:20 AM
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Hi Molly!

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

I'm so pleased to meet you! Welcome! I hope as you get more comfortable here you will be posting more, and I look forward to getting to know you. We strive here to love and accept each other just as we each are, and wherever we are in healing.

Peace,
Terrie

Posted on Mar 31, 2003, 9:47 AM
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Hi Everyone

by Terry (no login)

Just popping in to say hello. Had t today and it was a hard session. We have been talking about the isolation of having DID. It's a hard thing knowing that you can't be your authentic self with many of the people closest to you. It is hard enough to live with who I am let alone do it virtually alone. Those people I have shared with have dealt with the info ok but don't want my parts just popping in and out

I guess it must be pretty wierd....thanks for accepting me as I am...warts and all...here.

Terry

Posted on Mar 26, 2003, 9:11 AM
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hi Terry

by Molly (no login)

We have DID too and we know how isolating it can be.

Love,
Molly

Posted on Mar 29, 2003, 3:33 AM
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Terry

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

I'm so sorry that you don't have people in your life who welcome your others popping in and out. I wish you didn't live clear around the world from me, cuz we could hang out and I would be perfectly fine with anyone who wanted to pop out just popping out whenever...in fact, I'm accustomed to that with several of my DID friends that I hang out with, and I don't mind at all. I love you Terry, and hope you are doing better. You sure do matter to me.

Love and safe hugs,
Terrie

Posted on Mar 31, 2003, 9:45 AM
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A message for Margaret

by Cassie (no login)

Hi Margaret, Hope you might come here and see this. Just want to say hello and let you know that I am doing ok. I have been doing lots of good work with our therapist and have been learning lots of different things.

See ya

Cassie

Posted on Mar 20, 2003, 8:52 PM
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Hi Terrie

by Xanthe (no login)

Hi Terrie,
I am so happy to be able to come back here and talk to you. We have been gone for so so long. One of the others did bad and we nearly died but we got safed and have been in the hospital forever. katey will say hello too and there are lots of other insiders we know now too.
I hope you are ok
bye from Xanthe

Posted on Mar 20, 2003, 2:52 AM
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Xanthe

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

I'm so glad to hear from you again and to know you are safe. Do you feel like talking about what happened?

Your friend,
Terrie

Posted on Mar 20, 2003, 7:39 AM
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I'm sorry !!!

by Nina (w/Marianne) (no login)

I'm sorry that the little brat has been causing trouble here. The stuff it's talking about happened a long time ago, not now. I'm sorry again that I didn't know what it was doing. I guess it sorta lives in my head and makes me black out still.
I won't let it happen again.
Nina

Posted on Mar 16, 2003, 8:36 PM
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Hi Nina

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

Hi there Nina. It does help to know that it happened a long time ago, but I promise that you have nothing to be sorry about. I know that inside people are often stuck in the past, and I have no problem with Marianne writing here. Knowing that it is from a long time ago will help me to better respond to her, and I look forward to the opportunity to continue to talk with her and help her through this.

Peace,
Terrie

Posted on Mar 17, 2003, 7:26 AM
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Don't

by Nina (no login)

encourage it.
If we ignore it long enough, it's bound to go away.
Again, I'm sorry it was here causing trouble, as usual.
Nina

Posted on Mar 18, 2003, 11:37 PM
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actually

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

Actually, ignoring it is not likely to make it go away. I wish it were that easy, but it's not. I'm here if either of you want to talk.

Terrie

Posted on Mar 19, 2003, 10:29 AM
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ok

by Marianne (no login)

I dont no wat to talk abot becase nina sayd I not alowd tell abot my stepdad but I do like it heer a lot becase you are rely nise Terrie.
from Marianne

Posted on Mar 19, 2003, 12:01 PM
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well...

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

I'm wondering, is your teacher a therapist that you talk to? Also, do you know the difference between the past and the present, and what the present year is?

I'm glad you like talking to me...I like talking to you too.

Terrie

Posted on Mar 19, 2003, 6:39 PM
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ok

by Marianne (no login)

Um I think I dont no wat a therapist is. My teecher is at my skool and she teechs me abot english and riting beter. She says that kids with abuse in ther home shud have speshal atenshin so thats wy she takes speshal care of me becase soshal servises isnt dosint help. i dont no abot the yeer Terrie. I no i got born wen it was 1970 but I forgot to gro up as big as Nina so it mite be 1985? becase 15 plus 1970 equils 1985. but I forgot to get to be 15 like Nina. Thank you to let me be heer Terrie.
from Marianne

Posted on Mar 19, 2003, 7:46 PM
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Hi again

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

I think you are smart to know that you forgot to grow up as big as Nina. The current year is later than 1985, and the body is all grown up now. I'm glad that you have a nice teacher to talk to. One thing you might want to try to learn is that all those things the stepfather did happened when the body was younger, and even though it seems to you like it is still happening, it really is not happening anymore. I would be happy to talk to you about this if it is confusing for you. I'm glad you are here.

Terrie

Posted on Mar 20, 2003, 7:34 AM
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ok

by Marianne (no login)

I think wat you sayd is rely confusing Terrie. I dont want to make no mor trubal tho. so I can only pretent im smart enouf to understand ok.
There is a war on my telavishon and Im scard to watch it so Im going to my own room until its over ok.
from Marianne

Posted on Mar 20, 2003, 6:16 PM
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Hi Marianne

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

It's ok to be confused, Marianne. I think you are smart even if you are confused. And part of being smart could be to ask questions to try to understand better, so please feel free to ask questions. You are not making any trouble by asking questions, ok?

I can understand being scared about the war on the tv. War is very scary indeed. I hope it does not last very long, and I hope that none of it happens too close to us, though it is bad to happen anywhere, I think.

Terrie

Posted on Mar 21, 2003, 6:52 PM
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ok

by Marianne (no login)

I think probily I shudint keep to come heer it makes Nina rely upset and she was crying and holdeng her hed and keepd saying its not reel its not reel so I dont no wat to do now becus I shudint make Nina so upset I think so thats all.
Thank you to let me be heer Terrie.
from Marianne

Posted on Mar 22, 2003, 5:06 PM
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Marianne

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

It sounds like Nina is having a rally hard time accepting that you are there....hopefully in time this will be easier for her. I'm just as happy to talk to her as i am to talk to you. And you are both more than welcome t write here. And if either one of you has questions, I will do my best to try to answer them.

Peace,
Terrie

Posted on Mar 24, 2003, 7:15 AM
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ok

by Marianne (no login)

My stepdad is rely mad at me for coming to rite heer. Nina teld me so. I think Im in trubal. i dont want to be in trubal i dont want to be in trubal it herts wen Im in trubal Im gona get hert I dont want to be in trubal its not good to be in trubal hes coming i no it hes gona come and get me in trubal i dont like it Im in trubal stupid bad useles kid me is Im in trubal its not good kids not sposed to be so much trubal Im in trubal hes coming to get me from marianne

Posted on Mar 31, 2003, 11:40 PM
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Marianne

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

Hi Marianne. I'm so sorry Nina told you that. I'm not sure why she told you that, cuz I think that all that stuff really is in the before time instead of now time. I am thinking you really are safe now, and that he will not come to get you anymore. You are not bad or stupid or useless, and I'm very glad to know you, personally. Hope you feel better soon.

Terrie

Posted on Apr 4, 2003, 11:46 PM
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exuse me

by MARIANNE (no login)

I not a brat and I MARIANNE not it. My teecher says that you shud aksept me and you shud lisen to her becase she is the smartist persin in the world. Mom is gona get mad if you kep not remembring becase it gets blaked out for you.
from MARIANNE

Posted on Mar 19, 2003, 11:56 AM
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Re: exuse me

by Nina (no login)

YOU'RE NOT REAL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
STOP TRYING TO BE REAL
SHUT UP AND STOP TALKING !!!!!!!!!!

Posted on Mar 20, 2003, 9:44 PM
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Nina

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

Hi Nina. I'm wondering why you think that Marianne is not real?

Peace,
Terrie

Posted on Mar 21, 2003, 6:49 PM
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Real?

by Nina (no login)

It isn't real. It exists in my head. Something that exists in a person's head doesn't make it real.
I'm sorry Terrie. I can see here that you have created a supportive environment for people like me and I will try to keep myself/it from coming back. I dont belong here. It's just in my head. All just in my head.
Nina

Posted on Mar 22, 2003, 6:00 AM
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Nina

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

Hi Nina. I agree with you hat just because something exists in a person's head does not make it real. I would like to point out, however, that Marianne does not simply just exist in your head. She has a name, and she is able to carry on conversations with persons who do not live in your head (such as myself). In fact, she is even able to do this without your knowledge/permission. This indicates to me, that while she may share headspace and a body with you, she is, indeed, real. Not only that, but I welcome you and Marianne both here, and therefore you belong here as much as the rest of us. My guess is that your job, Nina, has been in part to not know about Marianne or some of the things that have happened I know it can be hard to find out about things like that after not knowing for so long. I look forward to continuing to get to know you.

Peace,
Terrie

Posted on Mar 22, 2003, 11:54 AM
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Re: Nina

by Nina (no login)

I cant deal with it.
Marianne is my first name but my sister couldnt pronounce it, it came out Nina and I;ve always been called Nina ever since.
I think really I'm just sleepwalking and doing these things in my sleep. It cant be real. Just cant be. It's just in my head. Everything has always just been in my head. Even in elementary school, it's always been just in my head.
Nina

Posted on Mar 25, 2003, 12:07 PM
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Hi Nina

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

I'm wondering what kinds of things you think you are doing while sleep-walking? What kinds of things do you not want to be real....?

Caringly,
Terrie

Posted on Mar 25, 2003, 7:50 PM
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I did bad

by Marianne (no login)

Im a lot sory for cosing trubel. Im not gona tel no more ok.
From Marianne

Posted on Mar 14, 2003, 6:50 PM
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hey marianne

by paule (no login)

i am sure yu didnt cause any trouble...ans is ok to nnot talk...
even if yu did something a litle wrong..is ok to make a mistake...
i am here if yu want to taLK...

paule

Posted on Mar 14, 2003, 8:35 PM
from IP address 66.130.90.207

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Marianne

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

Why do you think you caused trouble? Personally, I think you've done a great job talking about it and asking questions here.....

Peace,
Terrie

Posted on Mar 16, 2003, 7:47 PM
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Hope I'm still welcome here :)

by Terry (no login)

Its been such a long time since I visited. I have two more shifts to work and then I an on leave from work for the best part of three weeks....Yippee

I am taking the leave so that I can spend some time focusing on myself and getting back to doing some of the things that help me be ok in this world. One of those things is visiting here. I have come to realise that I have been withdrawing from many people and activities and this isolation isn't helping any of us.

So.....I'm back

Terry

Posted on Mar 9, 2003, 4:57 PM
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am so glad yur back..

by (no login)

was worried bout yu....
yu ok? i glad yur hear....

sandra

Posted on Mar 9, 2003, 10:00 PM
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Hi Sandra

by Terry (no login)

I'm sorry you were worried. I don't really understand why I pulled away from so many people this last year but I know its got to do with accepting who I am (the whole DID thing). I was doing ok with it all and then just lost the plot abit and wasn't coping with much. I was really dealing with one day at a time and all my energy was put into being ok as a mum and being ok at work.

Truth is its still like that but to a lesser degree, now I'm trying real hard to get back in touch with people who care and who can cope with me being who I am.

Well enough about me.....how are you my dear one?

Posted on Mar 17, 2003, 7:28 PM
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Not only.....

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

Not only are you welcome here, but I have a big huge hug for you! {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Terry}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I have missed you so much and am so happy to see you again! I'm so pleased that you are taking 3 weeks off....that is wonderful! I will be taking two weeks in July to go to England, myself, assuming our lovely (NOT) president (er, uh....can we say dictator in the works?) doesn't ruin it with this stupid war he seems to be insisting on having against our wishes (can you tell I'm not happy about this?). But enough about that....I'm just so glad to see you! How are you doing?????

Love you lots,
Terrie

Posted on Mar 9, 2003, 10:04 PM
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Hi Terri

by Terry (no login)

That was a wonderful hug

I'm on leave from work and not a moment too soon, really dropped my bundle the first couple of days. I am picking up now though and really just doing what I feel like each day, going to the gym, doing some gardening, reading and napping. Once the kids are home from school its into the Mummsy things but while I've got the day to myself...anything goes. Might get to take my insiders to the zoo on Friday, provided its not too hot.

You must be looking forward to going to England in July, hopefully your President and our PM wont stir up too much trouble but by todays news it doesn't look good.

Much love

Terry

Posted on Mar 17, 2003, 7:22 PM
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Hi All

by (no login)

Well everyone i'm here and it seems so quiet around here these days, i come on the site everyday and no-one has posted for a long time so i thought i would start the ball rolling..............
Hope to see you around soon
Sharon

Posted on Mar 7, 2003, 6:56 PM
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Sharon

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

Hi Saron. It's great to hear fro you. How have you been doing?

Terrie

Posted on Mar 8, 2003, 2:09 PM
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Hi Terrie

by (no login)

Nice to hear a friendly voice, I have been really ill but i am coming through it at last, I Think!!!!!!!!
How have you been??????
Sharon

Posted on Mar 9, 2003, 7:26 AM
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Sharon

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

So glad to hear that you are feeling better. I, too, was sick for a bit. I am still hanging onto a little bit of it, but am mostly better now, thankfully.

Terrie

Posted on Mar 9, 2003, 10:00 PM
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this is funny.....read...

by lucie (no login)

Written by a senior citizen:
Last year I replaced several windows in my house. They were the
expensive double-insulated energy efficient windows.

This week I got a call from the contractor complaining that the
work
has been done for a year and I had failed to pay for them. Boy, oh
boy, did we go round and round. I told him no one pulls a fast one
on
this old lady. Even though I am a senior citizen and used to be a
blonde, doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid!

I proceeded to tell him just what his salesman told me last year;
that
"in one year they would pay for themselves".



Posted on Mar 3, 2003, 12:41 AM
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Great One

by (no login)

laughing so much, sides are splitting!!!!!!! this one is a great one i love it and it really cheered me up. Thanks for that.
Sharon

Posted on Mar 9, 2003, 7:29 AM
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Impotint Questins

by Marianne (no login)

Culd somwon please deefine sexuel abuse? Wat maks abuse abuse? Wen is it the kids falt? Wat if the kid terns on the stepdad?
From Marianne

Posted on Mar 2, 2003, 4:01 PM
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Hi Marianne

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

Those are some important questions indeed! Sexual abuse is defined as any time someone uses their power (physical or emotional) over someone to do sexual things with or to them. When the person who is abused is a child, the abuser is usally, but not always, older than the person they abuse. What makes it abuse is that the person who got abused was unable to give full consent...this could mean several things:
1) The person who did the abuse could be older or stronger and not give the other person any choice at all
2) The person who did the abuse could have used power or words or threats to persuade the other person to do sexual things with them, even if the person didn't really want to but didn't fight back
3) The person who did the abuse could have chosen to be sexual with a person who is not legally able to give consent due to age or mental deficiency.

Sexual abuse is never, ever the kid's fault. Even if a well-developed 16 year old girl goes up to her step-dad wearing nothing and comes on to him, it would still be his fault if anything happened, because of reason #3 that she would not be able to legally give consent (in this case due to age) and he would be the responsible adult who should have known better and would be expected to not take advantage of her.

I hope this answers your questions, but if not, please feel free to ask more, ok? We're here for you.....

Terrie

Posted on Mar 2, 2003, 4:56 PM
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ok

by Marianne (no login)

Thank you Terrie.
Well wat if the mom tels the kid that its her falt the stepdad havd sex with her becuz she is atraktive and cant lern how to hide it beter?
My teecher sayd that wat my stepdad did is rong. But my mom says its my own falt for beeing atraktive to my stepdad. Im just realy confusd about a lot of stuf so thank you for leting me rite heer.
From Marianne

Posted on Mar 2, 2003, 5:13 PM
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Your teacher is right

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

I'm so sorry to hear that your mom is saying that it is your fault, but I promise it is not your fault. No matter what you say, do, or look like, he is an adult and is responsible for what he does or does not
do. Additionally, if your mom knows about it an blames you, then she is at fault for not protecting you, which is what she should do as a mother. Unfortunately, many people are not healthy enough to be good parents in every way, for whatever reason. Chances are pretty good that your mother is a survivor of sexual abuse from her childhood (though I
obviously don't know this for certain, since I have never met her or anything). She appears to have not learned healthy boundaries and has continued the cycle of abuse by marrying a man who abuses you. I'm very
sorry this has happened, but it is NOT your fault. Feel free to write again anytime.

Terrie

Posted on Mar 5, 2003, 4:24 PM
from IP address 65.85.249.194

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ok

by Marianne (no login)

Thank you Terrie.
I do having some more qestons. if my stepdad is atraktive to me then wat do I do to makeing him stop beeing atraktive? my mom says that boys jest can do wat they want to with gerls and i have to jest not fite him and make stepdad hapy but my teecher says that it rong. So rely Im not shur. I like my teecher rely a hole lot but Im suposd to be good and lisen to my mom but Im jest not shur. My bigest secrit that I wishing a lot my teecher cud be my mom. But thats meen to my mom I think. So thats wy its a big secrit. Thank you for leting me rite heer Terrie.
From Marianne

Posted on Mar 5, 2003, 10:01 PM
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well....

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

Well, your teacher is right again, and your mom is wrong. girls should never have to put up with anyone doing things to them like that. You can't stop someone from finding you attractive, but being attractive to someone does not mean you have to do things with them. I'm suprised that your teacher has not called child protective services to report your step-dad. As for wishing your teacher were your mom, it's ok to wish that, it does not make you bad. You do deserve to be raised by someone who is healthy enough to know right from wrong and to want to protect you.

Terrie

Posted on Mar 8, 2003, 2:01 PM
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Terrie an Marianne

by Anonymous (no login)

Terrie her teachers meant to report it by the law.....an Marianne yr step dads a jerk an u said yr step dad is atracktive to u so i dunno if u mean that u think hes atractive or if u mean he thinks yr atractive but it dont matter who thinks whos atractive cause its all still wrong... heres a example right now i think some one alot older then me is atractive an i like this person a real lot an dont understand me feelings for this person an this person does no how i feel an all but they wont do nothin there not supposed to cause well they dont think im atractive but if they did they would do nothin anyway cause they no its wrong.. an if u did mean that yr step dad reckons yr atractive but u dont like it then thats wrong anyway cause it just is...step dads arent supposed to do stuff u dont want em to.. an yr mum well shes wrong to cause boys arnt meant to just do what they want an yr step dad aint a boy anyway hes a man whos a jerk... oh an by the way u dont gotta be good an listen to yr mum all the time cause they aint always right...an teachers aint supposed to keep secrets neither an i hope yr teacher does somethin to help u real soon...
J-l

Posted on Mar 8, 2003, 7:50 PM
from IP address 139.134.64.153

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ok

by Marianne (no login)

Thank you J-l
Im defantly not meend that i atraktiv to my stepdad. he is old and i think that i wont get to be atraktiv to sumwon until i am a groun up. Im sory if i didint say it rite. Thank you for teling me that him is a jerk becas in my big secrits plases were i think inside then i think so to. But i no thats rong to think that. he maks my mom hapy that is wat she tels me wy i have to make him hapy becase moms are have to be hapy no mater wat. Im dont feling to good today.
From Marianne

Posted on Mar 9, 2003, 9:25 AM
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Marianne

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

Marianne, even if he makes your mom happy, it is not your responsibility to make him happy...especailly not sexually. Your mom is his wife, and she is the only one who he should be having any kind of sexual relationship with. And it's ok to think he's a jerk, cuz he is a jerk to be sexual with you.

Terrie

Posted on Mar 9, 2003, 9:55 PM
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hey Marianne

by Anonymous (no login)

well i cant say nothin better then Terrie did already say it an shes pretty much ALWAYS RIGHT... but did wanna just say sorry yr not feelin good but i hope u feel better real soon...
Later.. J-l

Posted on Mar 10, 2003, 2:52 AM
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well

by Marianne (no login)

Thank you Terrie
well thers was a ladey that comed to my house and ascked lots of qustons but my mom sayd that im jest a big fat lyar and nothin is rong at my house and she need to go away. then my mom kinds of made me punishd for lots of days after that so im not telin my teecher to much any moer. Im dont feling to good today. Thank you to let me come heer.
from Marianne

Posted on Mar 9, 2003, 9:19 AM
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Marianne

by (Login HealingWymn)
Forum Owner

I am so sorry that your mom sent the woman away like that. How long ago was that? I think that it is important to keep talking to your teacher and tell her what happened and ask her to follow up, cuz even if your mom did punish you, the lady has the right to take you out of that home and put you somewhere that will hopefully be safe for you...and if she will follow-up she might be able to figure out that it was your mom who was lying, not you. Hope it all works out for you...you deserve to be safe.

Terrie

Posted on Mar 9, 2003, 9:59 PM
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I'm here!!!!!!!

by (no login)

Hi all, Just wanted to say sorry for not being around much but i'm back now,if anyone needs my help please let me know and i will be happy to talk.
(((((((((ALL))))))if ok. Sharon

Posted on Feb 21, 2003, 7:16 PM
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Sharon

by (no login)

Just wanted to say that it's good to see you!

Smiles,
Terrie

Posted on Feb 24, 2003, 8:28 AM
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lyrics...the storm

by me name dont matter (no login)

heard a song this mornin an thought some other peeps might like it or what eva...this was it..

THE STORM

She sits among the pieces of broken glass and photographs
Reluctantly releases the last of what was her past
It struck without a warning or did she just ignore the signs
In those dark clouds forming behind her silver lines

Chorus:

THE DOOR IT SLAMMED LIKE THUNDER AND THE TEARS THEY FELL LIKE RAIN
AND THE WARNINGS FROM HER FAMILY WHIRL LIKE A HURRICANE
SHE'S DROWNING IN EMOTIONS AND SHE CANNOT REACH THE SHORE
SHE'S ALIVE BUT CAN SHE SURVIVE THE STORM

A broken jewel box dancer lies in pieces down the hall
She's finding out the answers don't change nothing at all
It's time that she stopped searching for who's to blame or what went wrong
The only thing for certain is he's gone, she's got to move on

Repeat Chorus

Someday days just roll on by without a gray cloud in the sky
She keeps telling herself, "I will make it on my own"
And her friends they've all gone back to their lives
Thinking she will be all right
As she races through the night to make it home

Repeat Chorus

Posted on Feb 15, 2003, 9:47 PM
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forgot 2 say lyrics might trigger....mainly if u like been threw a broke marriage

by Anonymous (no login)

........

Posted on Feb 15, 2003, 10:18 PM
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love it

by dawni (no login)

i love this song. like, lovelovelovelove it. it's by garth brooks, on his newest album, right? its the only one on that album that i like, actually. it's a good song, thank you for sharing the lyrics to it.

Posted on Feb 16, 2003, 2:31 AM
from IP address 211.28.96.40

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me 2 :-).........

by Anonymous (no login)

LOL@ lovelovelovelove it.. ya sure do luv it huh an yup is from garth brooks newest album... how ya been doin dawni??? was thinkin bout ya the other day.. carers got visiters here who from QLD an there pretty kool but they reckon QLDs better then NSW an there probly right... well bye from Jamie-lee......

Posted on Feb 16, 2003, 3:36 AM
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hey!

by dawni (no login)

hi jaimie lee friend

we are not doing so great right now, having a lot of problems, but we are hanging in there anyway. how are you?? been thinking about you a lot.

as for qld better than nsw? well, i haven't seen all of nsw, only the tip, and i've been into sydney (via plane) but all i will say is that brisbane is definately a LOT nicer city than sydney. but that's not to say all of nsw sucks!

love,
dawni

Posted on Feb 18, 2003, 12:09 AM
from IP address 211.28.96.6

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HIYA dawni :-)))))))))

by Anonymous (no login)

hey im real sorry yr not doin so great right now an are havin lotsa problems...an if ya eva need 2 talk 2 some 1 an u aint got no 1 else an if u wanna u can email me.. will always listen 2 ya an will always care bout ya.. u no what i reckon u would be right bout brisbane bein a nicer city then sydney...i neva get it when peeps go on bout syd bein so great an all that.. i reckon its pretty ugly compared 2 like say perth an some other places.. an some places in nsw are pretty kool but just syd like in the city an all aint so great.. how am i??? well im drownin in homework an think i cant wait till im through with school.....I HATE IT... i gone back to regular school an already me humanities teacher reckons i got a aditude problem an shes probly right but shes like just so clueless.... plus i got 2 assignments due friday..1 due monday an i theres no way im gunna get em done.. that is unless i stay awake 24-7 till i do which i probly will ... thank who eva 4 No-Doze tabs else ill neva get nothin done...well guess i should be goin an tryin 2 get me work done instead of complainin bout it huh.. hehe i hope ya feelin lots better soon dawni an i will keep ya in me thoughts.. some hugz if ya want em ((((((((((dawni)))))))))) luv from Jamie-lee

Posted on Feb 18, 2003, 5:37 AM
from IP address 139.134.64.153

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heya

by dawni (no login)

hi friend,
thanks for the offer of being a shoulder, i appreciate it i'm sorry you have so much homework, that's pretty bleh, and that you hate school so much! i kind of liked it, just not all the homework and assignments. assignments are super bleh.. but i found school itself alright - got me outa the house at least but its okay if you don't like it, everyone's got their own tastes, you know? i'm just sorry that you have to put up with it when you don't like it. but never mind, only a few more years hmm?

take care jaimie lee, and good luck with those assignments!

Posted on Feb 21, 2003, 5:37 AM
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