Well....this is post I give with apprehension.....for people on the net tend to use person revelations as fuel for personal attacks later....but....I personally do not care really....for the reality is what it is for me.

First...I will say without a doubt that I have no regrets for where G-d has directed me. I do regret I am such a poor poor believer and such a wretched person. There is no excuse.

SO....i was raised a catholic....went to mass rather faithfully....did the whole nine yards.....was an altar boy.....served at masses...weddings...funerals....and THOUGHT....this was the way.

however.....I always had unanswered questions....in the back of my existance that were unanswered....and the given response of 'just have faith for it is a mystery'.....well always fell short of acceptance with me....for I felt then my saviour and god was a mystery.....so how could i have a real and personal relationship with someone whom I could not know....not REALLY know. It always seemed to me that this was not the way G-d wanted and that while certain aspects OF G-d were beyond human understanding....infinity etc....HIS character....His ways...His love and who He was....was not such.

I had a very very rough 90's decade. I lived in sin with a woman for almost 10 years. She mentally and also physically abused me multiple times. I have physical scars to remind me of those days which are hard to think on. That is all I will say on that.

Now...one day....somewhere around 1998....I was doing my everyday morning stuff....just watching TV....and on the net.....
Then...a program came on...2 programs actually....

One was called the "Key of David" and the second was called "Tomorrows' World". They changed my life.

They both are from the Church of God. A church I never admittedly had herd of ever before....didn't know who Mr. Herbert Armstrong was or any of the church's beliefs or teachings. AND remember...I was still a very devote believe in the catholic church....nothing ever happened to me in this church to make me angry at priets or the clergy or the church even.....I was comfortable in my disbelief.

As I watched these programs....I went through a process....first....I was angry.....I wanted to turn them off even...but for some reason i didn't. I continued to watch them.....hearing things that started to move my very being......they started to do something to me nothing ever had before....the words and scripture used to support them cut to my very spirit and essence.
I then went for angry to sobbing...literally. Then to a beginning of understanding I never had before. I suddenly looked at a church which I was taught my whole life was THE church THE way to god....was suddenly something very very different. I herd, as if it was being screamed in my ear.....a truth...a REAL truth......about G-d, about a harlot....about an end time and about a calling ...for me.

I admittedly have not answered this calling as I believe I should have....up to now. Part of the reason I spell G-d this way is I am so in fear I am using everything about Him in vain that I cannot risk offending Him further in using Him in MY vanity....I do not expect anyone to understand this....but I pray G-d does and knows my heart.

I am admittedly confused and still seeking.....for in the church...which I believe G-d's work is strong and still happening....had a great apostacy in 1986....and the remmnant....well I am not sure which direction to look....BUT I am sure....when I am worthy He will show me....which direction to walk.....and I do believed what direction is SO important.....I am very very scared....and confused too.

Modern Christianity is so lost...and deceived. I see this now. I also however in saying that...understand that G-d is not calling everyone now...right now...in this age...and much of what is happening is happening so that there will be NO doubt...that Satan's ways are the ways to suffering ...death and misery.....

it is not an easy road for me....while my wife understand and sees SOME of the things I do..I know she is not converted and called by Him as I believe what Happened to me did for me...that kind of thing....my parents do not even begin to understand and certainly see whatever I would describe here....as not being of G-d....but certainly Satan deceving me into error and deception.

My heart and scripture....are not lying to me however.

G-d is in my thoughts....day and night....dreams....waking things....never leave me....It is driving my crazy...but I know it is for a reason.

My dilemma is also this....I contacted the then head of operations for the Living Church of God 'Gerald Weston' about being baptized. To make a long story short....to my surprise...there were other in my area who were church of god believers....without a congragation....

I met with gerald in windsor and he set up so the group of us could have a vidoe phone hookup to sermons from Toronto......
this lasted a few months...but money and interest seems to be a problem and it ended....

without my baptism I will add.

It is almost like they think I didn;t understand the inplications of baptism ....that I need to 'prove' myself worthy to be baptized???

While many would reject a church because of something like this... I continue to percivere and understand and know what is in my heart.....

But....again....'repent and be abptized for the remission of sins'. I believe scripture.....yet....I remain unbaptized......

However....the truth.....must be preached.....I am not a priority...I know this....time is very very short.....and bearing wittness to a world is more important than one person is....this too I understand.

...Phil.....it is no coincidence God led me to you. I KNOW this and wanted to tell you.

Please.....I know you can continue to help me. I charge you to do so. My heart tells me this Phil....

email...any way.....

If a person can make a difference in even ONE life....to me their whole existence is glorified and honored.

there ya go....my story.....my 'testimony'....my 'conversion'.

and too...my failure...;-(

Hi Gerard
Remember Me? I'm the guy who volunteers at a horse ranch.We spoke at Kristies forum. I read your testimony and was not surprised. I don't believe this fear you have is from God.I have felt this because you never write the word God. It,s not uncommon. There are others who do the same.I read about it early in my search for the truth.I think God has sent me here to help you.Though I am not qualified. The Holy spirit in me is.You wrote
I admittedly have not answered this calling as I believe I should have....up to now. Part of the reason I spell G-d this way is I am so in fear I am using everything about Him in vain that I cannot risk offending Him further in using Him in MY vanity....I do not expect anyone to understand this....but I pray G-d does and knows my heart.The first thing you should know is God does love you. I did a study just on Gods love. Jesus payed the price.I will leave you with a sight it is a audio of this subject. called Gods kind of love.I hope it helps.

http://www.awmi.net/extra/audio/1055

http://www.awmi.net/extra/audio/1054

If I understand you and I think I do. You will throughly enjoy and ease your mind with these 13 teaching audio studies. Please let me know what you think and if you have any questions please ask.
In Gods Love
Jerry

Nice to see you here! ave you taken our Poll Question?

:)

Phil

No I didn't.It's in Galatians. So It must be Paul. But it doesn't read as stated in your poll.

or, if there isnt an option you agree with, maybe post about it... and tell why...

The way it is stated in the poll is the way most people state it to me... If that isnt the way it really is, I wonder why?

:)

Thanks,

Phil
...Take our Poll!! It's election year! Practice! Practice!

It meant when you die. This is not what it means to me. Being flesh and spirit. We are in conflict between what the flesh wants and what the spirit wants.What Paul is talking about is stepping out of the flesh and walking with the spirit. I said this to my daughter. when in conflict step out of yourself and take a walk with Jesus.A renewing of your mind if you will.
In Gods Love
Jerry


2 Corinthians 5:5-9 (King James Version)
King James Version (KJV)

Public Domain
[A Public Domain Bible] [KJV at Zondervan] [Zondervan]

5Now he that hath wrought us for the selfsame thing is God, who also hath given unto us the earnest of the Spirit.

6Therefore we are always confident, knowing that, whilst we are at home in the body, we are absent from the Lord:

7(For we walk by faith, not by sight:)

8We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord.

9Wherefore we labour, that, whether present or absent, we may be accepted of him.

"It meant when you die. This is not what it means to me."

Well, I realize that not many people do just 'take it as it is'... Most have their own views about what a particular passage means, and usually, it always seems to 'mean something other than what it says'...

I often hear comments like: "I know it SAYS that, but that's not what it means!"

Oh well...

Thanks for sharing and I hope you'll visit some more..

Who knows, you might even vote eventually...

Later, 

Phil Barnes
...what good is a book that doesn't mean what it says?

I just figured out how your forum works(LOL). You have to view the thread to get your comments. Let me ask you some questions first. Then I'll tell you how I view them. So we can discuss our views. Tell me how you view these scriptures.

Romans 6:23
For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

# Luke 23:43
And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, Today shalt thou be with me in paradise

In Gods Love
Jerry

Jerry, "I just figured out how your forum works(LOL). You have to view the thread to get your comments."

Yeah, it's different than most setups... hardly anyone like it like this but I do.. :)

Jerry, "Tell me how you view these scriptures.

Romans 6:23
For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."

I view this verse as a straight forward declaration of what the penalty of sin is.. death... It also is an excellent display of the DIFFERENCE between the two... DEATH and LIFE! Two opposites! The majority of the mainstream don't believe this verse... I do... do you?

"# Luke 23:43
And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, Today shalt thou be with me in paradise"

This verse is one that many grasp as proof that people go to heaven.. the original text did not have any punctuation, but the translators decided to add it to 'make it clearer'.. anyway, the comma has been placed where they thought it should be.. because they believed that people went to heaven... it should be after today... not before... my opinion.. but then, I don't believe that people go to heaven anyway...

Hope that helps you,

Phil

Romans 6:23
For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."

It says the wages. This is something we are payed. Not something that is taken from us as a penalty.Death was given so we do not have to live in sin forever.

"# Luke 23:43
And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, Today shalt thou be with me in paradise"

The Key word here is paradise. We all know Jesus rose on the third day. How can the thief be with him in paradise that same day? You change the coma to make sense of this. But is paradise a place? Or a state of being? Let me explain. If you take away the sins of the world the greed, the pride, the lust etc. what happens? You would then see things as Jesus. You would see thing without the stress of the world. Then you would not have to move the coma or you can it still would fit. (IMO). Paradise is a State of being. Heaven is where you would live it that perfected state.
In Gods Love
Jerry