Lets forget who does what to whom and just ask ourselves what makes a healthy relationship. If you see that you are not in a healthy relationship you need to end it. Period.
1. Do you trust your partner? Do you have confidence that they are where they say, doing what they say, with whom they say they are? Do you wonder who they are talking to on the phone? Do they leave the room or talk in hushed voices? Do they give partial answers to your questions? Do you feel like you have to extract information?
2. Does your partner make requests of you that make you feel uncomfortable? Lying to people to cover for them, signing bills or credit on their behalf?Giving them money because they say they never have any?
3. Does the sex with your partner make you feel dirty or ashamed?
4. Does your partner stop you from visiting and calling your family and friends? Do they stop you from having people over to your house freely?
If you answer yes to any of these, you are not in a healthy relationship. Abuse lives here. It is not healthy. It doesnt matter if you are PROVOKED to hit this partner, they pushed buttons that took you into an out of control state. If you ever raise your hand in a violent manner, this is not the relationship for you.