I was recently having cyber-sex, at work, with a young medical student in India. After I had typed that I had taken off my pants, she typed "I stare at your cock with a half-smile." Has anyone else at Bosbury been so slighted by a typed remark from a woman 8000 miles away, 4 hours ahead, who they have never met?

LAST WEEK my wife walked in on me whilst I was lying stark naked, masturbating over a copy of Razzle. She said she was disgusted and what I was doing undermined our relationship. If I had walked in on her and found her masturbating stark naked, perhaps playing with a vibrator, rather than undermine it, I think it would strengthen our relationship no end. Honestly, I'll never understand women.