ASKING MONEY FOR CORRESPONDENCE DOESN'T MEAN SCAM YET
No score for this post January 11 2002, 8:32 AM

Hi, guys
Wrote it as a responce to one message but then decided to make it a separate topic so that you all see this and read - for your information and also to avoid labeling all Russian women scammers.

I'm a 27 year old Russian married to an American guy whom I met on the internet 3 years ago. When I placed my ad on the net I was serious about finding my soul mate - not trying to get out of Russia. I didn't ask him for money for correspondence at the beginning because I had access to the Internet at my work at that time. But let me tell you something. Probably only 10% of women in Russia have computers, another 15-20% can afford to pay for INternet cafes and correspondence. But the majority of women don't have enough money in a month even to buy the food that you have in the firdge at any day. When I was an interpreter in a big company my salary was $100/month. Enough for basic needs and every week I could afford either a nice piece of meat or some fruit or a couple of bottles of juice or a couple of bottles of beer. And only on big holidays I could get all this together - if I saved beforehand. To buy a more or less warm winter coat is at least $100, another $50 for winter boots. How do you manage that if you spend all your money on food? And you know what? I thought I lived quite well then, because I was never hungry and I could pay utility bill for my apartment. And because I have been through times much worse. Before I got that job I was a teacher and had a salary of $25/month. Now, this is something you CAN'T live on. I had to give private lessons to make both ends meet and even then there were days when I had no money at all, not even for bread or public transportation. The cheapest INternet service in my town was a $5 card which gave about 7 hours on the INternet (and that is if you have a friend whose computer you can use if you pay for the time you spend online. If you go to Internet cafe the pay is higher. And don't think that Universities and libraries let you sue computers free of charge. Also if somebody e-mails you a picture it may take 30 minutes to download - the connection usually sucks). Now tell me, how do you squeeze $5 in your $25 budget? Ok, now maybe they have increased teachers' salaries and it is about $50. Big difference?
Because I had a pretty good salary of $100 (good by Russian standards - many people don't have even that) and also gave some private lessons of English I managed to save $250 - it took me 2 years. I paid for the visa and my husband-to-be paid for the ticket. We met. Because of the long vacation in the US that I spent with him I had to quit my good job. When I returned back to Russia I went to work in my friend's store while I was waiting for fiance visa. I got $50 a month. I had to ask my fiance to send me money for INternet so that I could keep in touch with him. He also sent more than I asked so that I could buy myself some nice food and clothes. He didn't think I was a scammer. I told him honestly about how much I earned and the prices in supermarkets. If you want to know, I can tell you how much everything costs. Now that I'm in the US and earning money myself as well as being cared for by my husband I send money to my MOm from time to time - because I can afford it and because it is great help to her.
So, guys, before you label anybody a scammer, first try to find out the details and analyse. If she asks you to send $500 for two months of correspondence or $3000 for visa and ticket - *** her. But if she asks $20-30 for INternet - it might be because she really wants to write to you but can't afford it. I read on a different site that a man asked his Russian correspondent to make a video of her and her son and she said that it would cost her $20, so he immediately writes to all message boards and sites that she is a scammer. F*** this dumb and greedy ***hole! Use you brain, guys. I hope most of you have it. Ask the girl about where she lives, where she works, see how often she writes letters to you, ask where she writes them from and see if everything in her answers is logical and makes sense. It took my husband 4 years of searching and meeting women from different on the net to find me and he said that he could alweays tell by the person's letters if she was sincere.
Also I want to tell you: though the conditions in Russia are harder than in the USA and there are many women who would give anything to go abroad, still there are many women who take pride in being Russian and are not looking to get out of their country, but are trying to find their other half on this planet. And if you read enough ads on the internet and correspond with a few girls for a little while it wouldn't be too difficult for you to understand after all what each of them is after - your money, citizenship or your heart. It's just that many women in Russia are unlucky with men - all the good ones are already married. :o) Some women are even more successful than men - I have a very good friend who is still single for this reason. Also it is not interesting fo me to be with guys of my age, but marriages with age differences over 10-15 years are very uncommon in Russia and viewed by other people as strictly of convenience, while in the USA big age difference is not uncommon. My husband is 24 years older than me and everybody thinks we are a great couple. So there are many reasosn why many women in Russia look for a man abroad.
So, guys, good luck to you in you search for your other half. But mind that to find her it also take sincerity and desire of your heart on your part - not just looking for a cheap young beautiful wife who is used to working about the house and in your opinion would be easy to satisfy and wouldn't demand much. And remember, your country is not perfect either. There are things that are not so good here, difficult to adapt to, some things are even easier or simpler in Russia. Every day I learn something new about life in the US and get to understand it better and I also know that I have to work here as hard as in Russia or maybe even harder to contribute to the family budget so that my husband and me can have a comfortable living together and realise our dreams. BUt when you are with the person you love all dificulties do not seem so difficult after all and you can achieve everything you set your heart on.
Have a nice day you all.

Olga,
But how does well tell the good from the bad though when one considers sending money to one of these ladies as i have read on this site and others some bad stories. I know it is a minority but it may raise suspicions in one's mind - Do you know why internet access is so expensive in comparision with affordability of this to averages wages.- How many internet providers are there in russian/ukraine etc - is it infrastructure and or lack of competition to drive the costs down.- These ladies are being exploited

I know these woman would most likley not solely use the internet for relationships but i myself think there is an opportunity for some smart business people to link the two for these ladies to have affordable internet access for this and other purposes.

I have never sent money myself but i did offer it and the lady was quite upset by the offer saying only bad woman take money even though it must have been costing her a lot for internet access and letter interpretation.

What do you do when you know this is the case and it results in the both of you losing contact.

YOu have to realise that while for you internet is a means of communication for many people in Russia it is a luxury. For many people even a computer is a luxury. It is just expensive. And the cost of internet is expensive too because 1) there are few providers, 2) there are not so many people needing internet. The main users of internet are businesses and people who have computers and those usually can afford to pay the money. And as for businesses and organizations, not all of them have internet connection. When I worked as a teacher at the University even to get to use a computer to prepare something for my classes was a problem. There were two computers at our department and I had to submit a request to the person working on those computers and wait till they would have an opening, and it was such a hassle that I preferred just to write by hand and use carbon paper for copies. If I wanted to use computer and e-mail for my personal needs I had to pay for it and it's not cheap either. That was the situation 3 years ago. Maybe now the University where i worked has progressed in it. I don't know. And many women who try to correspond with a man abroad are more likely to use internet just for this only purpose - not for business, unless they have a computer with internet at work. And even if they do, their boss would not let them use it for personal correspondence with a man, so they would have to do it covertly. One of my friends placed her ad on the INternet and then went to the post office which provides e-mail services and they gave her e-mail address, and she had to bring them her letters on a floppy disk and they gave her printed copy of the responses she got and she had to pay for all that by byte of information. I don't remember how much. I think the best way would be if agencies provided internet services for their clients. My husband told me that while he was looking for a woman on the internet he came across an agency in Russia where men had to pay for their services but women got everything free including the internet, and the agency told the men to notify them immediately if any of the women asked them for money. Unfortunately such agencies are rare. Many agencies are not reliable and try to screw everybody out of money. They sometimes write things on behalf of the girls that they have no idea about. I read on one of Russian sites that a girl was corresponding through an agency, but then the guy stopped writing. She was very fond of him and was upset at losing him. So finally she decided to call him. When she got to talk to him he was outraged that she dared to call - he got a letter supposedly from her saying that she found someone else and is getting married so sorry and good-bye. That was the letter the agency wrote on behalf of her. YOu have to look for a reliable agency. So I think if you really want to keep in touch with a woman exchange phone numbers as soon as possible and keep in touch on phone too. And if you suddenly see her picture on some other site or get a godd-bye letter call the person to verify.
As for money for correspondence, you just have to ask about the prices per minute of connection and then see if the woman gives realistic numbers and ask for an appropriate sum of money. Those who try to screw men for money ask a lot - hundreds, thousands of dollars. If a woman asks for $20-30 for 2-3 months of correspondence, the chance is she is sincere.

Olga,
I know you are not to blame but why did people put up with this for as long as they did (communism)- the people in government. officals. kgb etc i bet they didn't get paid the wages you talk about.

I am afraid it will take many generations before the economy of the countries of the former USSR are any where near the avearge standard of western countries.

Sure there are problems with capitalism - i am not an advocate of global economies , free trade, selling of government assest to the private sector etc as this is a massive con.

Many people in USSR were satisfied with their lives. We didn't have freedom but we were provided for. The teacher's salary was enough to have a more or less comfortable living. Retirement payments didn't let you go hungry. That is why there are people who want communism back. That is one of the reasons why people put up with it. That and the fear. KGB was a strong force and they were many. If you said anything against the government somebody was sure to report you and you'd be sent to Siberia. They had thousands upon thousands people in camps. That is why people kept silence.
I agree with you that it will take many generations for Russia to improve and the most difficult is to change the mentality - mentality which goes back centuries in history.
There are good things in Russia that I miss. BUt I like living in the USA - I have opportunities and if I work hard enough I can have a pretty comfortable living. And also my husband is here - that is the main advantage :o)

I just wanted to say to all that I appreciate the thoughtful comments here in this thread. Would that there are more women like Olga to be found.

As for the original topic, all should understand that asking money for her internet costs can be a legitimate request given the state of technology in CIS countries. ON the other hand it can be a sign of a scammer.

As with all things a person must you good judgement and objectivity.

good luck in your search,
The Author

Hi Olga! I responded to an ad of a Ukranian woman in the friendfinders site and after 2 letters, she said I would have to send her $100/month to continue our email correspondence.

She had explained to me that she cannot afford to pay for the internet cafe services.

So my question to you is... does it really cost $100 a month to use the internet cafe services?

Kind Regards,
Gerry

My God! So stupid chickens! Olga, you are not better, are you aware of what nonsense you are talking? People will really think that computers are something very luxurious in Russia.

Who was sent to Siberia by KGB?? Shame of you! Sit down and listen>>

To Olga and to all:

Internet is a very fast growing branch in Russia, it has one of the worldwide best development dynamic.

Costs:

0,25-0,8 US Dollar per minute


For example the provider “Russia on line” offers 50 hours at day and 50 hours at night internet acsess - this internet card costs 20 Dollars.

Garry, if the woman is an internet freak or a hacker, may be she can spend 100 dollars.

I am sorry, I meant 0,2-8,8 US$ per hour, of cause.

Internet was a luxury for me when i corresponded with my husband (fiance at that time) while I was waiting for my visa. So was the computer - it wasn' mine. i wouldn't have been able to afford it if he hadn't helped me with money. Sveta, if you are fortunate to be able to afford it it doesn't mean everybody else is. I did know people in Russia who didn't have money even enough on food. When I was a teacher I did have a situation when I had to walk around the town because i didn't have money for public transportation (our town was not big and it took about 2 hours to get to the other end on foot) and I didn't have any money even for 1/4 of loaf of bread. Me and my mom lived for 2 weeks on spagetti that my grandma had stored during pre-perestroika times before i finally found another private student to make more money. If you have never been in such situations - lucky you and may you never have to experience that. If you live in Moscow Internet and computers are probably more affordable to you, but not for people in provinces. And... if none of your relatives were sent to Siberia it doesn't mean nobody was. My grandfather was in prison for 10 years just because he was a Polish jew. So shame on you for thinking that life is easy for everybody.

but.. $100 per month for the Internet does seem a little bit too high. Though a page of translation might cost about $5. So you have see how many pages she would have to translate a month.

Olga,
I know that not all Russian are scammer. However with the internet revolution it becames very easy for them to scam lonely man in America. I have been scam several times. The first one was a girl with one son. She told me story about how difficult for her to raise a child and work at the same time and she has to spend all her money in the internet to correspond with me. She ask me for $ 200.00 per month. I corresponded with her for 3 months. I happen to get an email from another man who ask me if I am corresponding with a girl by the name of Natasha. He give his phone number and I talk to him. I found out that he have been victimize by the same lady I was corresponding. This is just one of the many story that I can tell you. How do we know which one is good one and which one is bad. I can not rely on the Agency because there are a number of Agency that are also scamming. Hope I can find another Olga like you.