"I was going to wish you all a Happy New Year but ran it past my Solicitor. It turns out that this issue is much more complicated than I thought and he suggested a couple of alterations. Here is the modern version which better fits our multicultural society and is far superior to the old-fashioned out of date greeting:
I wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2002, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have made Britain great, (not to imply that Britain is necessarily greater than any other country, or is the only "BRITAIN" on the planet,) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, or religious faith of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.
This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher."
Oh sod being P.C.! I hope all Cards fans have a a Happy New Year in the form of 6 points from Farnboro.
|
