You Know You've Waited Too Long to Find a Mate When . . .
>
> a.. you talk about "scoring" you mean how you did at last weekend's
> obedience trial.
> b.. you meet a guy named BOB and instantly visualize purple and gold
> rosettes.
> c.. you think nothing about loudly discussing studs and bitches in a fancy
> restaurant.
> d.. the first thing you notice about a guy is what breed of dog he has.
> e.. you think stripping is something you do to a terrier.
> f.. your biggest turn-off is a guy with an obnoxious untrained dog.
> g.. you have ever ruled out a guy as a prospective date based on the breed
> of dog he owns.
> h.. you dismiss all the guys your mother introduces you to as "not breeding
> quality".
> i.. you never could stick to a diet to impress a guy, but you can do it to
> get through that TDX track.
> j.. your only nice jewelry features either dogs, dumbbells, or rosettes.
> k.. you have a video on how to artificially inseminate your dog b ut last
> watched a dirty movie in junior high school.
> l.. your dog has more letters after his name than the last ten guys you've
> dated, and actually completed obedience school.
> m.. you start using operant conditioning techniques to get what you want
> from your boyfriend, and you hide your copy of "Don't Shoot The Dog".
> n.. you think that maybe your current guy has potential if you use the
> proper combination of positive reinforcement and the occasional well-timed
> ear pinch.
> o.. you "people watch" at the mall by making mental lists of the
> conformational faults each bypasser has to contribute to the gene pool.
> p.. you think if you ever did marry and have children that you wouldn't have
> to buy a playpen because you already have an extra x-pen. And why buy a
> crib?? Crates are cheaper and they're enclosed on all sides.
> q.. you give all of your married friends child-rearing advice based on your
> extensive background in dog training.
> r.. your mother's worst fear is that you'll have a child and make it wear a
> pinch collar.
> s.. your mother's second worst fear is you'll get married and your dog will
> be in the wedding party.
> t.. you actually have friends whose dogs HAVE been part of the wedding
> party.
> u.. your cousin tells you how much her wedding costs you think how many
> show-quality puppies that could buy you.
> v.. all of your friends always include your dog in any invitation they issue
> to you. Of course, you reciprocate because you only have doggy friends left
> ... the others have stopped inviting you places because you insist on
> bringing the dog!
> w.. you read the personal ads you skip past the vital statistics and rule
> out any that don't say "animal lover".
> x.. you know your dog's cholesterol but not your own.
> y.. you lament to your friends about chronic yeast infections, they don't
> know you're talking about your dog's ears.
> z.. you last had a professional po rtrait done for your high school
> graduation, but you just spent 50% of your dog's purchase price having his
> done by the best canine photographer in the country.
> aa.. you and your dog use the same kind of hairbrush, and you never can keep
> straight whose is whose.
> ab.. you spend 8 hours grooming your dog for a show the day before, and 1.25
> minutes ponytailing your hair the morning of.
> ac.. you think that people with bad bites shouldn't be allowed to breed.
> ad.. your mother is ecstatic to see you browsing the aisle with the hair
> coloring, after hounding you for three year to try highlighting.... Only to
> be disappointed when she finds you are looking for peroxide to "touch up"
> your Clumber's drool marks.
> ae.. someone mentions single bars, you wonder if they are talking about
> utility or agility jumps.
> af.. you go "clubbing", you have your choice of the all-breed club, the
> specialty club, the obedience club, or the tracking club. ag.. you once made
> earrings out of old rabies tags, and all your friends
Laughter is good medicine!
Lorraine
If only I was as good a person as my dogs seem to think I am!
Find us on:
www.karismakennels.com
