My dd is getting married, and will be going to live in Florida in June. She has most of the normal household things, and a few pieces of furniture that she will want to take with her, and she'll undoubtedly collect a few more things between now and then. I know it'll be too much for a truck bed, and require a trailer or moving truck.
Is there a cheap way to move? Wondering if the thing to do is to just rent a UHaul, and take a mini vacation to visit them in their new place.
Is there a tackful way to discourage people from buying wedding gifts that are going to need to be moved? ie. encourage people to buy gift cards vs. towels, for wedding gifts? I'm sure she'll graciously accept any gift she's given, but know that she is concerned that she'll end up needing a larger vehicle to move her things.
I think that is the thing now (regarding weddings)
January 28 2012, 8:40 AM
At least it is in my family and dh's family. Everyone lives together before they are married and usually has kids. Although one of my cousins is marrying a minister and that isn't the case with her or her siblings. Usually the mothers phone around to all the family members and say - please don't give gifts. They have EVERYTHING they need, but are buying a house and need money to fix it up (or whatever)
But... I have to say - that is kind of the way it is done on the prairies. Even if you bring a gift there is still the understanding that there will be the opportunity for cash donations through out the night.
There is the 'card box' at the door which is really just a donation station because if you give a card it has money in it. Otherwise it is taped to a gift. Larger weddings sometimes hire a security officer for the card box and the gift room. I never got a wedding gig, but I heard they were great! Always free food (one of the more important considerations in security work...)
There is also "Pass the Boot" where the groom takes off his cowboy boot and it is passed around. Donations are pretty mandatory.
Miss Manners might tell you that it is not polite, but I think times have changed. I suppose this goes by the area you live in, but honestly I don't know why the bride and groom can't make it known among friends and family that they are moving and plan to just take VERY little.
We had a dollar dance at our wedding. Guests pay a dollar (or more) to dance with thee bride and groom. I've seen at other weddings too. We always give cash for weddings and graduations. I think most people do.
But I see "gift cards preferred" on a lot of wedding sites - my dd included. But I do understand, especially when either or both of the couple has been living on their own and already has a complete household. Dd & her fiance went to Target to register and couldn't find much of anything that they needed or wanted. I looked on her list and there were only 5 things. Most people have 2 or 3 sheets of stuff even if they have been on their own for years. I told dd to go back to Target and add stuff for people who don't want to do a card. She thought they had picked out 10 to 15 things.
I guess your dd could put U-haul rental down on her registry. lol
The road to success is always under construction.
IMO, it's tacky to say "give us money", but under the circumstances - she's lived on her own for 8 years, and we've given nice pots and pans, cutlery, etc for Christmas gifts over the years. He's been on his own for 10 years, the last 2 have been in Orlando in a non furnished condo.
She jokingly ask me tonight, if it'd be okay to register for a couch, and a recliner for the living room, lol!
I'd tell her to register at Sears or something similar
January 28 2012, 7:57 PM
and put the couch and recliner on the list. I'm sure there are lots of folks that would contribute to something like that. And in the invitations I would include a note that said the Bride and Groom are immediately driving to their new home and would appreciate a 'light load' to transport.
I think that mentioning that the bride and groom will be relocating immediately makes sense, people will understand the need to not to have to move stuff. Around here most people give cash at the actual wedding day reception and then a gift for the bridal shower.
While I have some issues with people asking for cash, it's mostly because I think they are being greedy. This is a unique case, and if were me, I would be very understanding. I have moved more times than I care to think about, and the less stuff you have to schlep around, the better! Congrats to your daughter!
Jodi-in-Id (Login Jodi-in-Id) The Frugalista Files
What a couple we know did...
January 29 2012, 5:45 PM
A friend of my son got married here in Idaho. They live in Florida. On the invitation
they wrote " please remember that the couple is returning home to Florida after the
wedding - there was something to the effect of please remember this if giving gifts ".
I don't recall the wording precisely.
I did not find it offensive at all.
This message has been edited by Jodi-in-Id on Jan 29, 2012 5:55 PM
You give cash so the new couple can buy a house/pay for the honeymoon. or pay for the WEDDING !! if you do get a token gift (crystal vase or a setting of their high end china) you still write a check to put in the card.
And it's always been like this. People I know celebrating their 30th anniversary didn't get gifts at their wedding. Maybe one or two things. (aforementioned vase!)
You give the toaster and coffee machine at the shower, and if they are moving soon - The hostesses of the shower should put that in the invite and ask for packing tape, sharpies, moving boxes, and cash for gas!!