Signus: Cantonese, Thinkerized.
Mark [reading]: "Kon-El was here."
NeoVid [reading]: "Son of the beach."
Sarah [reading]: "Whoever reads this must stick his hand up... hey! Now that's just rude even by alien standards!
> #########################################################################
>
> "[Time is ticking away. Long ago, Kiz Kiz-El
Mark: No relation to Bang Bang-El...
> discover that our planet.
Signus: ...Is? What? What?
NeoVid: ...has a creamy nougat center.
> First our planet was a solid core, similar to
> Earth. Next, like Oa, to had a liguid-based
NeoVid: And you know what happens when you mix liguids and bases, don't you?
> core. Now, it
> turned into a gas. This gas is the end of all of us.]"
Sarah [speaker]: It is the fart that will destroy all!
> Jor-El stated. "[The coucil members argee to take action,
> but didn't when Kiz did not reappear after a week time.]."
Mark: Eh. Politicians. Easily distract--hey, what's this shiny thing?
NeoVid [Jor-El]: The world is going to end!
Signus [politician]: Will that hurt my chances of reelection?
> "[Get real, Jor-El.] " stated Tal-Zin. "[But Kiz didn't
> write that books. We think it's just that patrical joker,
Sarah [Tal-Zin]: Yes, that patriarchal joker. He wants MEN to be in charge. Can you believe it?
> Ra-Xi that written that book that you claim Kiz Kiz-El
> did.]"
>
> "[She did! I had proof. This computer record has Kiz'Kiz-El
> s real voice.]" stated Jor-EL "[On it. She tells ours about
> our core, what it would become
NeoVid [Jor-El]: ...Which was a small, off-duty Czechoslovakian traffic warden!
> before the end. It matches
> by theory of Krypton's end.]"
>
NeoVid: Krypton's end was getting closer to the floor as it got older...
Signus (Kiz Kiz-El as mystic): You see, there were two balls in the sky. The left one was the sun, the right one the moon.
> "[Rao nevers gambles with the planets. Why would be kill
> our plant?
NeoVid [Jor-El]: Because he's a vengeful, vindictive god?
Sarah [Tal-Zin]: That's just what the moon-worshippers say.
Signus: Because he listened to her. (He winces as a scratch mark appears briefly on his wrist, then vanishes.)
Mark: Because if he won't, the weeds will crowd out the rest of the garden.
> We are a loving race, honor life before death.
> You need to get over that Xel's henchman in you, Jor-El.]"
NeoVid [Jor-El]: Never! Having that henchman in me was the most memorable experience of my life!
> stated a coucil member.
>
> "[Sheol! I wish this planet exploded when Kiz Kiz-El was
> around! Then I won't had worry about this!!!] shouted
> Jor-El, as he stumped away. "
Sarah: So Jor-El was an Ent?
Mark: Well, Rao was destroying plants...
NeoVid: ENT!
> ###########################################################################
>
> "[They didn't belive you?]" asked Lara, Jor-El's wife.
>
Mark [Jor-El]: Of course they do! I'm still alive, right?
Signus [Lara]: I don't get it! The flying monkey theory is PERFECT!
> "[They say 'Rao never gambles with the planets'. I show
> them by proofs...like... glowing rocks....,
Signus: Hey, I had those in my younger days.
NeoVid: Except you couldn't see the glow through all the dust...
> light rays from
> the future..... and even Kiz's old books.....,computer
> disk....even old council files. And they cliam that moron
> Ra-Xi did it! For Rao's sake, why did they took that vote
> when I asked.
Sarah: Just to frustrate you by doing what you asked. Duh.
>They keep telling me that I'm beening working
> too hard. Some members of the council members think I want
Mark [Jor-El]: ...To get more drunk than anyone has been in the history of the planet. And they're right.
> take over Krypton. That's a bunch of lies and they know
> it.]" stated Jor-El.
>
> "[Should we do 'Plan-K?]" asked Lara, with a sad voice.
>
NeoVid [Jor-El]: You will start by telling me *who* this "'Plan-K" person is. (Grim expression.)
Signus [Lara]: But George! There was no one else but you! You've got to believe me!
NeoVid [Jor-El]: ..."George"???
Signus [Lara]: Oopsie.
> "[Of course. At least, if Kryptonian explodes, you and that
> child will survice.]" stated Jor-El.
Mark: "Survice?"
NeoVid: They'll end up as gas-station attendants.
Mark: Ah.
> They move to a rocket. It's looks big enough for just two
> people.
>
> "[I'm having Gal-Al's nerves.]" stated Lara. Jor-El
> nervously wonder what's going on .
Signus [Jor-El]: Who in Rao's Shining Middle Finger is Gal-Al?
Mark: "Rao's Shining Middle Finger"?
> "Gal-Al's nerves" is similar to Earth's
Sarah: Athlete's foot?
> "cold feet".
(Sarah snaps her fingers.)
Signus: Close enough...
> In otherwords, Lara is
> having some second thoughts.
Mark: Sadly, no one there had had first thoughts.
>
> "[What is it, Lara?]" asked Jor-El.
>
> "[With my weight, it might never make it to Earth.]" stated
> Lara sadly.
Signus: I call foul! (Points at screen.) Admitting to be overweight?
NeoVid: Lara does look anorexic.
Signus: True.
Mark: Even though the rocket is big enough for *two*!
Sarah (Astrotrain): Jettison some weight or I'll never make it to Cybertron!
> "[Let's give our 'Star Child', Kal-El. to
> Earth!]" She was holding a baby boy, with black hair. He
> was wrapped in red, blue and yellow blanket.
>
NeoVid: Zeekbot, cue Thus Spoke Zarathustra.
(Richard Strauss' famous composition is piped through the loudspeakers.)
Sarah [Jumping up startled]: Where the hoob-scow did that come from?
> "[My Rao's power shine on him.]" stated Jor-El. "And make
> him land safely.]"
>
Signus [Rao]: Why should I? Sol's got dibs on him.
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>
> Clark Kent was walking nervously around his apartment.
> Never even his power of recalliton
NeoVid: Didn't he lose that power during Crisis?
Sarah: Huh?
> had this much power. In
> dreams, usually about Lois Lane's strange appents,
Mark: Her strange *what*?
Signus: "Appents." They're new fashion accessories.
Mark: ...I really, really don't get fashion.
> or
> Superman getting medevil
Signus [Superman]: Ah, Playstation classics...
>on Xel. Clark Kent check every
> inch of bedroom. Clark wonder if the metor he got last
> knight had hidden red Kryptonite in it,
Mark [Clark Kent]: Boy, that wacky Batman. Always good for a laugh.
> but he reminder
> Prof. Hamilaton's remark. The metor was 90% lead, which
> should had at least cover a good portion of the Kryptonite.
> Clark need some fresh air. He quicky make this way to his
> closet.
Signus: ...Sorry, Story. I'm not making that joke either.
Sarah: Er, Clark, going inside the closet would *not* get you fresh air.
Mark: Maybe he has a greenhouse inside?
> He quicky removed the famous red and blue tights of
> his other indenity, SUPERMAN! The Man of Steel. The Last
> Son of Krypton, The Man of Tomorrow.
NeoVid: Protector of the Oppressed!
Sarah: Champion of the Downtrodden!
Mark: Idol of the Masses!
Signus: The Big Red Cheese!
Mark: (Taps Signus) That's Captain Marvel.
(Signus shrugs.)
> As Superman, Clark
> fights for a never ending for truth, justice and the
> American way.
>
Sarah: Though these days that's pretty much worth squat.
Mark: For the benefit of those people who've never heard of Superman before.
NeoVid: Which would be everyone born after 1993.
> <Something strange is going happen to day. I know it.>
> Clark thoughted as he flew off.
Mark: Hey, Golden Age Superman!
NeoVid: This can only end in tears.
Sarah: What you talkin' about, Willis?
>
> #########SUPERMAN AND SUPERGIRL: THE REAL
> ADVENTURES######################## #########EPOSIDE #1: The
> Girl of Steel##############################################
> #########BY DR.
> THINKER#######################################################
All [deadpan]: Yay.
Sarah: So if he's a doctor, what's his Ph. D in?
Signus: BFW,
Sarah: BFW?
Signus: Bad Fanfic Writing.
NeoVid: Thanks, Captain Obvious!
> On top of the "Daily Planet", Clark suited as Superman
> watch as Tanya Leets, Jiimmy Olsen, Perry White, and Lois
> Lane.
NeoVid: ...having an orgy.
(Signus grins.)
> With Superman was friendly helpers such as Prof.
> Hamilaton, and Lena Luthor, one of the more honorable
> members of Lex's family.
NeoVid: She would only stab you in the front... never in the back.
Signus: Then again, she'd want you to do the stabbing, ifyouknowwhatImean. (Chuckles.)
> Much of the noise was that of
NeoVid: ...Supes having had too much Mexican last night.
> the
> rocket, the engine still workin, but then some spoke up.
>
Mark [Rocket]: We demand a union! More wages, less work!
> "What's up? Sups?" ask Tanya. "Got a dream? It's seems that
> you look more nervously then a Pre-Crisis May Mines."
Sarah: May Mines?
Mark: Called it.
> "Who's she?" ask Lois.
>
> "Well, if we in Powerman's world,
NeoVid: Who?
Mark: Who the heck is Powerman?!
Sarah: Wasn't he the guy who used to date the Scarlet Witch?
Mark: That's Wonder Man.
Signus: Well, didn't he have a cat and hanged around with the Justice League Europe team?
Mark: That's Power Girl.
Signus: Mmm... (glazed look on his face) Karen Starr...
(Mark facepalms.)
NeoVid: Oh, wait. Luke Cage, Power Man.
Mark: Cage is from the Marvel universe...
Sarah: So is Wonder Man, yet nobody called me on that.
NeoVid: ...Repeat after me, "Must not think about fic..."
> you would be her, Lois..
> She's Powerman's girlfriend reporter." stated Tanya. "And
> the talboits papers are still calling title you as
> "Superman's girlfriend." Don't they?"
>
> A groan sliped from Jimmy's lip.
NeoVid: Then fell on Tanya's foot, costing Jimmy his last chance at a date.
> Tanya has always been
> corpairing the two heros and their cast, including
> villains. Jimmy hated when he's compated to Jake Oyster,
> Powerman's Pal.
Signus: Because, as we all know, what Jimmy wanted most was to be Superman's "Boy Wonder". *ahem*
Mark: Oyster? Oy. Those wacky Golden Age writers...
Sarah: So this takes place in the twenties?
> Speaking of heros with power, his thoughts
> to Superman, who seems to holding a book. Everytime,
> Superman rechecks his rocket that brought him to Earth from
> Krypton, he founds new stuff that his father, Jor-El put in
> the rocket.
Signus: Conveniently placed in a lead box under the seat.
Mark: Because Jor-El is a jerk who likes to hide stuff from his son.
NeoVid: So are 70% of this world's fathers... your point?
> The book seems to be marked with the red and
> yellow S that usually on Superman's chest..
>
> "Well, I'm won't belive this.
All: Neither do we.
> But Kiz Kiz-El did exist on
> Krypton. She was a Kryptonain who discover our galaxy.
NeoVid: Since Earth and Krypton are in the same galaxy, that must have taken a lot of work.
> it would be durning the "Black Plague"
> in the Dark Ages here on Earth and Krypton would had almost
> match present day, Earth." stated Superman
>
> "I wonder if God plays dice with the comos."wonders Tanya
> outlound. She got a few laughs,
Mark: Not according to Einstein.
Signus: Of course. God rolls d20s.
NeoVid [Superman]: It's existential... and funny!
Sarah: Come on, Jupiter, Mama needs a new pair of heels.
> most from the human who
> work in the same building. Prof. Hamilaton, Lena Luthor,
> and Superman was still reading
Mark [Lena]: Wait, I thought you could read at super speed.
NeoVid [Superman]: I am! "Jor... um, El... was... ker... um, certain..."
> and checking the history
> book of the "House of El". She looked up and see Lena
> Luthor leaving Superman's side.
>
> "Hey, Tanya." stated Lena.
>
> "Yes, Mrs. Luthor?" asked Tanya nervously.
>
> 'DON'T CALL ME THAT!" shouted Lena.
Sarah [Tanya]: Call me Ishmael!
> "Ouch! I don't had Superman's ears, Lena." stated Tanya,
> rubbing her back right ear.
NeoVid: The court order made me return them.
Mark: Yes, folks. She has more at the back.
> "Sorry, but I'm not have a easy relationship, since
> Superman annoyed at my brother at his ocean party.
Signus: (sputters) Lex had a SISTER? How? Did Lionel got busy...?
Mark: Wrong universe, Siggy. (Pause.) Then again...
NeoVid: No, this is the pre-Crisis universe.
Sarah: So what's the difference?
> I give
> some strange honorable remarks that even steaming Lex a
Mark: You see, Lex had taken a steaming bath to return him to his normal state due to his Jusyenko curse.
Sarah: EEEEEW! Not Lex-chan!
> little bit more." stated Lena. "I got plans, Lena Electrics
> has plans for the Superman Week for Metropis,
NeoVid: That's the name of the city sanitation department.
> and I need
> some help. And since Kal-El himself is busy."
>
> "I'm was picked.." stated Tanya.
>
> Lena only nodded as Tanya and her headed for the stairs's
> door.
Signus [narrator]: ...off for some hot yuri love-love action!
Sarah: You wish.
> ##################################################################################
>
>
> <Strange. Metroplis's Alien Ave and Main Street, seems to
> be one of the best area to turn if you don't want to get a
> traffic jail,, if not the empty area in history of
> Metroplis. But it should not be like Space Ave and Planet
> St.>, thought Superman, <It's seems that the people are in
> a rush, today. Let's seems what's going on?>
Sarah: What the...[Looks up] hey Zanzabar, is there a dubbed version of this, or at least a subtitled version?
Zemyla (over loudspeaker): No... and that's Zemyla.
> Superman used his power of telescorping vision to see a
> teenage woman, who has blonde hair and blue eye,.
Mark: She lost the other eye in a freak goldfish accident.
Signus [Superman]: Must... resist... using... x-ray... vision... on... girl... Can't... afford... another... court... order...
> Mostly
> like, she might had got caught up with gang war, but
> Superman remember most of the gang war
NeoVid: ...Was a storyline from Image comics.
> are Killer Stones,
> who live near LexCorp, and Lexors, a group of LexCorp
> lovers.
Signus: I knew that Lex Luthor had a harem.
NeoVid: Every decent villain has to have one... it's a rule.
> That was prety fair.. Their fight take place mostly
> in and around what is own by LexCorp or Lena Electrics.
> Next, she might had accidently faill out from a plane,but
> Superman been caught
Signus: ...Using X Ray vision on the ladies room.
> planes since his first appearance.
> Superman x-ray her body. It seems that it didn't look like
> it had work.
NeoVid: So, she's made of lead?
> Superman is immune to his own X-ray vision.
> Superman is puzzled by this thought. Superman landed in the
> street. It's seems the cars are impainting
Mark: They have colored interiors?
> for her to wake
> up. Superman is afaird that the car might right over her.
> Quicky, he fly down, easily liffted but the woman and fly
> off. <Funny, I thought she would weight a few pounds,
> because of yo-yo diets most teenages are on."
NeoVid: Definitely anorexic. (Nods sagely.)
> ##################################################################################
>
> "Well, Prof. Hamilaton? Any clues?" asked Superman.
NeoVid [Prof. Hamilton]: Right rere, Raggy!
Mark: (Concentrating) It was Colonel Mustard in the Library with a candlestick.
(Mark opens an envelope and looks at the cards inside.)
Mark: Damn. (Tosses the cards away.)
Sarah: (Picking up cards, reading) Bizarro in the Daily Planet with the heat-ray vision. Go figure.
> He and
> Prof. Hamilaton was eximaing the strange woman with the
> help of S.T.A.R. Lab."
>
Signus: Professor Hamilton or Happosai? You decide.
Mark: So this *is* a Ranma 1/2 crossover.
Sarah: Ick.
> "The only things is that she's from space. She might not be
> from Krypton, but it's seems that his watch lookings kind
> of spacely too me." stated Prof. Hamilaton.
>
Signus: Product placement!
> "[Hey! Illogicals! I come from Krypton! What do you think I
> wasn't harmed by your stupid laser-beams?
Mark: Well, she could be a mutant...
Signus: Or a Martian...
NeoVid: Or a Daxamite...
Sarah: Or a twink...
(Pause.)
Signus: You might have something there.
NeoVid: Incidentally, Martians are vulnerable to heat, so a laser would hurt them.
Signus: Nerd.
NeoVid: Well, duh.
> I know for fact
> that Kryptonains had super-powers until the yellow sun. I
> was the one that created the yellow star, Jygan-4 to test
> out that theory out]."
>
> "She's talking, but we can't piece together the lauguge."
> stated Lois.
>
All: Neither do we.
Mark: The lauguge was lost in the airport!
> "The only thing I got from her was illogical, laser-beam,
> yellow,and created." stated Superman.
>
> "[Illogical. Why would some from Kryptonian and have my
> crest on their chest, you couldn't even be a member of the
> 'House of El']." stated the woman.
NeoVid: "Illogical..." So, she's a Vulcan?
Mark: Please not a Star Trek crossover too.
> "What did she say this time?" asked Prof. Hamilatn.
Sarah [Supergirl]: "You should never harm people. It is a sin to kill. Take care of the defenseless and treat them well."
NeoVid [Superman]: Sounded like "Phonkgh nnghurlh HARM PEOPLE. Phnurgh SIN rglnugh KILL. Ouuoughkx llnkhz grkaghnvx EAT THEM lxhnkt."
>
> "Only got a couple. And it's familar phrase,. the 'House of
> El', which I belong to. " replied Superman
>
> "She's Kryptonian." stated Prof Hamilaton. "You know?
Sarah: Thanks, Professor Obvious!
> Maybe
> your computers at your Fortess could help us."
>
> "[Please, Rao, have mercy on me. Why do you desere to put
> your Cold Caves of Evil.]" stated the woman."I been good in
> your name!!!!!!!!!!!!!]!"
Signus: There's a kinky riff right there, but I'm not base enough to make it.
NeoVid: I am, so- *WHAP*
Sarah: Not in front of the kids.
> "Did she say something?" asked Prof. Haamilaton
>
> "Yes. But it's seems she to be calling Rao for mercy."
> replied Superman.
>
> "The Kryptonian god?" asked Prof. Hamilaton.
NeoVid [Superman]: No, the Kryptonian Used Car Salesman.
Sarah: Isn't that the same thing?
> "No duh, Earthings! Looks have to you languge to talk!"
> stated the woman. "I was semi-working. I didn't want to
> move my legs, because my legs always seems to give me
> problems!."
Mark: Why do I have the feeling that Stacy Keibler has the same problem?
Sarah: As Oniko Hakubi once said, never underestimate the power of elves.
> Prof. Hamilaton jumped behind Superman. Mostly
> English-speaking Kryptonians come from a certain area of
> the universe,
NeoVid: Milwaukee.
Sarah: Idiot, he said certain area of the 'universe'
> called the "Phantom Zone.", another dimisonal
> that holds the worst villains of Krypton..
>
> "But I got a question?" asked the woman
>
> "What is it?" asked the Prof. Hamilaton.
Signus [woman]: Why am I naked?
NeoVid [woman]: And why am I sticky? Did I miss something fun?
Sarah: Well that depends, do you have a traffic cone on your head?
(Mark cradles his head in exasperation.)
> "Who is that strange suited man who wears by chest?" asked
> the woman.
NeoVid [Supergirl]: Because Krypton also had a gay rights movement, so I'm OK with it.
Signus: No, he doesn't. People started calling him that when he first appeared, and the name stuck.
NeoVid: Dude, like, who cares?
> "You know something, you got come from a latter period of
> Kryptonian's history, then were I was. So what's Superman's
> origin?"
>
NeoVid: Well, you see, when Mama-El and Papa-El love each other very much....
> "I will answer this question for the woman." stated
> Supeman. "But before, I do. What's is your name."
>
> "Kiz Kiz-El." stated the woman.
Mark [Superman]: What is your quest?
Sarah [Kiz Kiz-El]: I seek the Holy Grail.
Mark [Superman]: What... is your favorite color?
Sarah [Kiz Kiz-El]: Blue, no yel--aaauuugh!
> Thought Superman was still standing still, his mind was
> racing thought brain.
Mark: The brain won by a lobe...
> <Now it's was denifity. This same person was mention in
> that dream ealier!> Superman thoughted.
Sarah [Superman]: Now I'm sure I've completely lost it!
>
> "Well, Kiz Kiz-El, I tell you and the way to a certain
> palace." stated Superman. "I take your there.."
>
Sarah: Say what?
NeoVid: Come into my parlor, said the Superman to the Ancient Kryptonian Babe...
> ##############################################################################
>
>
> "Did she broke the remote control yet, Pa?" asked Clark.
>
> Jothathan Kent replied, "Not yet. But it was a close call,
> when she used her heat vision."
Mark: There's a lot of shows that make me wish I could do that.
Sarah: Me too, namely Extreme Makeover, Reno 911, and at least five of the Survivor series.
>
> "So many channels, has our super-daughter discover?" asked
> Martha.
>
Signus: Super-daughter? Well, that was fast.
> "Thanks heveans, for Lana,for hooking up DirectTV for us.
> At least count. It was 100 channels. She's is on the
> History Channel." stated Jothathan.
>
NeoVid: Hey, Story. Leeloo called. She wants her shtick back.
> "Funny, how she come from a different timne period of the
> samel planet that you can from." stated Martha.
Sarah: After all, 99% of the people on Krypton lived at the same time.
>
> Kiz Kiz-El was dress in a blue blouse, purple earrings,
> orange shorts, and strange pink shoes.
Mark: I'M BLIND!
>Clark never say
> this, but she was wearing a red belt with the "El's sheild"
> on it. When Clark first saw here, she was wearing a pink
> uniform on.
>
Sarah: So she was the Pink Power Ranger?
> "Well, Kal-El. Wondering what happen to that pink outfit?
> Well, it's was my lab outfitt." stated Kiz. "But looks like
> my warning for the future didn't work."
NeoVid [Supergirl]: You're all going to die!
Signus [politician]: But the important thing is, will it hurt my chances of reelection?
>
> "That could win an understantment of the year award."
> stated Clark.
>
> Kiz's face flash a smile. It's seems her late kinmen seems
> to have gotten the dead-pan humor she has.
>
> "Can you do some for me, Kal-El?"
Signus: Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, saynomore.
> "Get middle-size piece of ruby from the Earth.." stated
> Kiz. "I tell you the reason when you return."
Mark: The reason is that she likes money.
>
> ###############################################################################
>
>
> "Where's Kiz? Is she up to something?" asked Clark He was
> in his Superman outfit. "Where's ma, pa?"
>
> "Martha is out shopping for woman's clothing with
NeoVid [Mr Kent]: -Jimmy Olsen. That explains a few things.
> Lana. Ms.
> Kiz-El is the next room, and her something must having some
> to do with using Martha's sewing mechines for a few hours
> straight." anwser Jothathan.
Signus [Pa Kent]: Funny how she searched every nook and cranny in the house for every scrap of unused leather she can get her hands on...
> Clark walked slowly into the next room. Kiz was sitting on
> chair near Martha's sewing mechine.. The sewing mechine had
> nothing it,but they seems to be small of amount of blue,
> yellow and red threat
Mark: Kryptonite!
Signus: No, worse. It's Christmas decor!
> in Martha's sewing basket.. Kiz was
> wearing her pink uniform again.
>
> "When I do experiments, I keep wearing by pink uniform.
> Helps me think.
NeoVid [Supergirl]: Problem is, my lab assistants are squinting all the time.
>By the way, can you do a double-check with
> your X-ray vision?" asked Kiz as Clark place the huge ruby
> on top of the sewing table, wear the sewing mechine sits.
>
> "Check what?" asked Clark.
Signus [Kiz Kiz]: Me.
(Mark thwaps the back of his head with a rolled newspaper.)
> "I don't see anything."
(Mark thwaps Signus again.)
Signus: Hey! What was that for?
Mark: Just making sure.
Sarah [Clark]: Worthwhile.
> "I forget his uniform in lead-lined, because Science Coucil
> members some time deal with dangerous checimals." stated
> Superman as she started toi remove her lab uniform slowly.
>
(Signus takes out a boom box from within the folds of his overcoat, and plays some Barry White music.)
> Clark turned his head to prevent to see a naked woman. He
> doesn't want to see a naked woman at all..
Signus: He'd rather see Lex...
Mark: WHAT?
Signus: --a Doig.
Mark: Oh. (Looks at Signus suspiciously.)
> "You can turn head back, Kal-El." stated Kzi.
NeoVid: *CRACK*
Sarah [Supergirl]: I meant turn it back the same way...
>
> Kiz wasn't naked,
NeoVid: Damn.
>she was wearing a female version of his
> Superman outfit. Instead of a red tights, she wearing a red
> skirt. Her boots were blue. On the self behind Kiz was a
> red wig and an old pair of Martha's eyeglasses.
>
> "So what's the ruby for?" asked Clark.
>
> "Watch!" replied Kiz has she started her heat-vision.
Sarah: He soon learned you shouldn't look someone with heat vision in the eye.
>It's
> seems that it was full power which could melt anything.
> When it was done. They only a small about of ruby. The
> left-over Ruby was shape into two-S shape items.
>
Sarah: Shouldn't that be K-shaped earrings?
Mark: No, you see, the story did imply that Kiz Kiz-El was a member of the house of El, which canonically has the S-shape Kryptonian symbol for their family.
Signus: The story actually has continuity? Remarkable.
> "Ruby earrings. Since I use blue boots, and need something
> red to show off my blue eyes." Kiz laughed.
>
> "Girls! They all the same even the ones from Krypton."
> stated Jothathan.
Sarah: Hey, we're not all fashion-centered!
Mark: Gah! And where'd *he* come from?
Signus: Jonathan was always there. Didn't you notice?
NeoVid: Now we know where Clark's voyeurism comes from.
> "I got a lot of different clothing. Lana Lang help out.
> Don't worry, about she's knows about Clark's sercet. What
> ever your don't like, or can't match, she would love it for
> her job." stated Martha as walking into the room.
>
> "What her job?" asked Kiz Kiz-El.
>
Mark: Getting rescued, usually.
> "She works at the head of 'Warehouse of Clothing' on WB
> Studios' lot." stated Martha as Kiz placed her earrings in
> her hole.
(Mark waves the rolled-up newspaper at Signus.)
Signus: What? What?
Sarah: I guess we're just lucky it wasn't the water tower
> "She hold all clothing on the lot. She keeps some
> stuff when they need some teenages for school dramas."
NeoVid: Well, they do need to make sure that all those 30-year-old actresses look like they're fourteen.
(Signus puts away the boombox.)
> Quicky, Kiz move at a super-speed, over up her Supergirl
> uniform. By the time, she was done, her Supergirl outfit
> was on the hanger in a clothing. Kiz had cover her blonde
> hair with the red wig, her face had a pair Martha's
> glasses.
>
> "From my teenage years." Martha stated, knowly that Clark
> hates mysteries.
NeoVid: Which is why Supes isn't a Wolverine fan.
Signus: Martha Kent was Nancy Drew!
> Her body was in a brown blouse, and blue skirt. Her feet
> was cover with high tops.
>
> "So I need a name?" asked Kiz. "In name something that I
> like."
>
> "Linda?" asked Clark.
>
> "To old." stated Kiz.
>
> "Kim?" stated Martha.
>
> "Sound to close to one of my own problems back on Krypton
> Kim-Zu." stated Kiz. "She works turns serious books into
> funny books under the name of Ra-Xi."
>
> "In my dream, Ra-Xi was mention as writting your book."
> stated Clark.
>
> "We talk about her
Sarah [Kiz]: -Behind her back whenever we can. Bitch.
>later. Any other names?" asked Kiz.
>
> "Kate?" asked Jothathan
>
> "To lame." stated Kiz.
Mark: Hey, let me dig something up... (Starts searching the back of the theater)
> "Cassie?" asked Martha.
Sarah: Nah, people might start thinking you can morph into animals. (To others) Was that too obscure?
(Everyone else shrugs noncomnittally.)
(Mark returns to his seat holding a piece of paper.)
Mark: Check it out. Remember the list of Kim Kaphwan's wife's names for RECBT?
NeoVid: Yeah, so?
Mark: Let's help them out.
Signus: Why not? (Goofy grin.)
Mark: Sarah, play Kiz.
Sarah [giving him a confused look]: Okay.
> "To young." stated Kiz.
Signus: Here's one... Natalie?
Sarah [Kiz]: Too Portman.
Signus: Eggs?
Sarah [Kiz]: Too yolky.
> "Ciz?" asked Clark.
>
> Kiz laughed as she answer Clark's own question. "To silly."
NeoVid: Ferdama?
Sarah [Kiz]: Too Ferdy.
NeoVid: Kimmy Sue?
Sarah [Kiz]: Too Rugrats.
Mark: Wei Wei?
Sarah [Kiz]: Too Italian.
Mark: Eponymous?
Sarah [Kiz]: Hard to spell.
Mark: Teriyaki?
Sarah [Kiz]: Too French.
Signus: Dostoevsky?
Sarah [Kiz]: Too classical.
Signus: Fellopian
Sarah [Kiz]: Too science-y.
NeoVid: Samsonite?
Sarah [Kiz]: Too commercial.
NeoVid: Mononucleosis?
Sarah [Kiz]: Too-- [normal] wait, Mononucleosis?
NeoVid: (Shrugs) It was a weird series. So sue us.
Signus: What? You only noticed it now?
> "Kelly." stated Martha.
>
> "Kelly Kent.
(Mark tosses away the list.)
Mark: Well, it was fun while it lasted.
Signus: Dude, don't mistake distracting for fun...
Sarah: The Jury's still out whether or not I want to know what that was about.
> Kelly Kent. Sounds a like a prefect
Mark: Ford?
> teenager
> name to me.." replid Kelly
>
> ##################################################################################
>
>
> The next morning, Kelly walked into the Kent's kitchen.
> Martha was busy cooking. Jothathan was reading the "Daily
> Planet".
Signus: After hiding his Playboy under the table.
>
> "Well, how was your first night?" asked Martha.
>
> "Funny, I couldn't sleep a wink." replied Kelly.
>
> "Clark has the same problem." replied Jothathan.
Signus: Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more... eh?
Sarah: Didn't we do this before?
Signus: Hey, if you like, we can do it as many times as you want. Just say the word.
Sarah: Er... I'll pass.
Signus: Oh. Pity. (Winks.) If ever you change your mind...
Sarah: I'm fourteen, you nit wit.
> "So's where Clark?" asked Kelly.
>
> "He returned to Metroplis, to get to work. He's works at
> the 'Daily Planet', as one of the city reporters." answer
> Martha.
>
> "He's some eggs." stated Martha.
(Stunned silence.)
Mark: This thing riffs itself!
Signus: So we can leave now? (Gets up to stand.)
Zemyla (on loudspeakers): Sit down!
> "At got a question? How long is take me to get to in a
> Earthing school, and some old items."
NeoVid: Getting in is easy. Getting out feels like eternity.
>
> "We work it. We don't think it will be done for a few days.
> So what are you going to do?"
>
> "Just fly around." replied Kelly, her eye glowing a like a
> little star in the sky.
Mark (singing): Up above the world so high.
(Signus takes out the boombox again, and plays the pillows' FLCL ending theme. NeoVid then switches it to the Katamari Damacy soundtrack.)
Sarah: Will you cut tht out!
> #################################################################################
>
> Three days, later, strange news had reach the "Daily
> Planet",
NeoVid: "Giant bats plagued Gotham."
Sarah: "Heroines get pneumonia from scanty costumes."
Mark: "Men in skintight leotards fly around glowing green."
Signus: "Politicians admit that they goofed."
(Pause.)
Signus: Okay, that was a bit *too* strange.
> where Superman in his other indenity of Clark
> Kent.
(Signus puts away the boombox.)
Mark: ...Yes? Go on?
>
> "This has been going on for 61 hours." stated Lois.
>
Mark: ... (facepalms)
Sarah: Tell me about it, I feel like I've been here for days.
> "They seems to be a pattern......the first letter in each
> area she been spotted could spell out who is or where the
> mysterious girl is going sell out
NeoVid: I'm never going to get popular, so no one will say I'm a sellout!
>a word." stated Tanya.
>
> "Hmmm...She wrecked a gang in Oymplic, Sattile...then she
> stop a lava problem off Hawaii, Hawaii...she stop armor car
> robby
Signus: My Life as a Teenage Superheroine. I hear that it's big in Japan.
> in Tokyo, Japan.
Signus: ... (facepalms)
> Then she throw a bomb out a bulding
> in Berlin, Germany. Next, she stop a another gang in Paris,
> France. Help restarted an stable volanco in Iceland. Then
> she saved
Sarah: -On car insurance thanks to Geico.
>a submarie of the cost of Greenland. Then our
> girl had landed in Portland, Maine to push some beach
> whales back to the ocean." stated Jimmy Olsen.
>
> "O...H....T...B....P....I...C...P...W.." Lois muttered.
Sarah: Buy a vowel!
NeoVid: Orange Hot Tennis Balls Pick In Conneticut Power Weekend. Huh.
> After short pause, Lois contunied "Sorry, Tanya. It doesn't
> make a word."
Sarah: Something we never would have expected from this writer.
>
> "CLARK! PROVE HER WRONG!" yelled Tanya.
Mark [Tanya]: I want Cheesy Poofs!
> "I'm not a fan of scramled words." replied Clark.
All: Same here.
Sarah: Good grief, who's the dialogue coach here, Jar Jar Binks?
>
> "Could it been that isn't the words, but the places? Get
> one of those spare world maps form the National Room,
> Jimmy." stated Lois.
>
> ############################################################################
>
> Supergirl smile, as she fly out of the city of Boston,
> Massachutes.
NeoVid: --somewhere in another Earth...
Mark: Bizarro World?
> Those sky-wreckers gang won't bringing down
> the house for anytime soon. She will soon be visting
> Metroplis soon, and to see what Clark thinks of the
> msterious woman.
NeoVid: Who survived everything from "Eye of Argon" to "Artemis's Lover."
Signus: Samantha?
Mark: Rebecca?
Sarah: Me. (Smug smile.)
(Everyone else oohs.)
> Supergirl decide to use her X-ray and
> telescope vision to see Clark and his friends working in
> the Metroplis. Supergirl listen her with her X-ray vision.
Sarah: So she listens with her eyes?
Mark: Some sort of sonar then? That'll be a cool power, actually.
Sarah: I bet she heard a flash of light too.
NeoVid [exact Bizarro]: Me am never find him with me X Ray Hearing!
> "Started from western end of our country, crossed over the
> eastern ends of the world, then did stuff on the way back
> to the United States." she heated a young man.
Signus: The investigators decided it had been spontaneous combustion.
> "If she
> pasts Boston, Massachutes, she will might land right
> smacked in Metroplis itself."
>
> "JAMES 'BIG BOOM'' JYEN GANG ARRESTED! GANG MEMBERS THINK
> OF FLYING GIRL BUGGED THEM." shoutd a teenaged female.
Mark: Cool. They have no TV in this world either. Only town criers.
> "Then she's going land here?" asked a young woman
>
> "I would bet Superman's cape on it." stated Clark's voice.
>
> ##################################################################################
>
> Helen Trent, had saw better days
NeoVid: Like the day she fell off Lexcorp tower and landed on broken glass.
>in her gang, since
> Metroplis's hero know as Superman been working in the
> middle near to LexCorp's building, she thought she and her
> gang, the Rotten Razorettes,
Mark: Sponsored by Gillete.
> had a good chance on the
> outspace, just as long as it's not in daytime or early
> nighttime, but they didn't expect a flying girl to landed
> right on top of the store that they would about to mess up.
> The other members did strange things then usual: Jane Zigan
Signus: Didn't she use to fight Gamera?
Sarah: Are you kidding? Gamera is mighty and the friend to all children!
Signus: But Gamera is made of turtle meat.
Sarah: Yes but he is very neat.
> & Kimbery Kakor stated using thier guns against the girl,
> but it's seems that bullets just bounce off. The leader,
> Amy Azan try to trick the girl into think
NeoVid: But there's no chance that will ever happen!
>Superman lows a
> few gangs in Metroplis, but the girl stated "That's not the
> American way, Superman's honors.", and Amy went to
> dreamland for a bit.
NeoVid [Morpheus]: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't mix me up in this.
> Helen Trent run with the rest of the
> gang members, only two, but they were lifted off, Helen
> truned to see a griming female. Her eye look cross.
Mark: She should have that examined...
> "Crime doesn't pay."
NeoVid: ...Taxes.
> , she place them on top of a police
> station.
>
Signus: Then the police box promptly vanished with a WHOOP sound.
> "KIZ! I know what you up to." shouted familar voice.
> Thought it was more of power, then Clark's usual voice.
> Clark must be in his Superman indenity.
>
> ###############################################################################
>
> "I hope you know what you doing. That story could be a lie,
> and Kiz is accidently a Phantom Zoner." stated Tanya.
>
> "This world isn't like Powerman's Pre-Crisis's world. You
> know you remind of some from Powerman Post-Crisis's World."
NeoVid: Hey! The total and complete destruction of the Fourth Wall is MY job!
Mark: Or Grant Morrison's.
NeoVid: Yeah, he's an expert.
> stated Jimmy with a grin.
>
> "Who?" asked Tanya.
>
> "Jane Steel." stated "The 'Daily Star' head janitor. Thinks
> Powerman is accidently one of the reporters at the 'City'
> room of the 'Daily Star.' She acts just like you." stated
> Jimmy. "And sees the glass as half empty."
>
Sarah: And for those of us who by some freaky chance... HAVEN'T read comic books?
Mark: They're making this up for this story.
NeoVid: And there shouldn't be anyone who hasn't read comics.
Sarah: I haven't.
(The others give her a look)
Sarah: Oh give me a break, I'm an orphan and spend my time either trapped in a doorless victorian house with a 900 year old teenager, a video game fanatic, and an albino twerp all the while watching corny anime fanfics, or jutting around a dimension filled with talking changing monsters. What's your excuse?
> Tanya decide to wait until Superman and his new friend or
> foe diseapper before giving a headache to up to Jimmy. She
> might decide on dropping a soap on the floor that Jimmy
> walks on, giving his clothing a accidently
Signus: ...Removal, to get proof about Jimmy and women's underwear.
> mopping, or just
> removing Jimmy's Superman signal watch right from under his
> nose. .
Mark: Stealing a watch! The fiendish fiend!
> "Sorry, Kal-El." stated Supergirl. "Just want to see how
> you react. It was same I was expected."
>
> "You must be Kryptonian, too?" asked Lois.
>
> "You win that bet, Lois.. Different time period, too."
> stated Supergirl. "The name is Kiz Kiz-El."
>
> "Let's have a girl-to-girl talk." stated
Mark: Go on, Mr. Narrator. We're waiting.
NeoVid: (Making a show of looking at his wrist) Though I hope not before Buffy reruns are shown.
> "Don't you mean teenage-to-adult talk?" aksed Supergirl
> with a hint of a snicker.
>
(Signus grins with a hint of a snicker.)
Sarah: [Looking up]: Hey Zork Necrophiliac, got any FAQs or Cliff Notes on this thing? I'm lost.
Zemyla (over loudspeakers): That's Zemyla!
Signus (whispering): Maybe you shouldn't get him riled up like that.
Sarah (whispering back): That's nothing, you should see the stuff I call my Mad.
> ##########################################################################
>
>
> "So I'm going to school tommorow." stated Kelly. "That
> means that our parents got me a fasle birth pappers for me.
Signus [Kiz]: Did you know I was born with only seven toes?
> And that's means..(yawn) I had to a fake (yawn) or may
> (yawn) not fake sleep."
>
NeoVid: I've (yawn) even (yawn) inserted these (yawn) fake yawn (yawn) bubbles (yawn) into my speech. (yawn)
Sarah: Night, Yakko.
NeoVid [Exact Yakko]: Night, Dot.
Mark: Clark, quit speaking to yourself.
Signus: (Nods) That way lies madness...
(Pause.)
Signus: Or so I hear.
>
> ###################THE
> END###############################################
>
>
> In my live action show, durning parts where they are
> Kryptonese (Jor-El and Laura/Kiz at Star Labs) will had
> over the shoot the words: DECODED FROM KRYPTONESE (The
> coucil argement/Jor-El and Luara's Plan K.
Signus [Lara]: I'll tell you about Plan K if you tell me who's this "Luara" woman you've been seen with.
NeoVid [Jor-El]: ...I don't know what you're talking about. (shifty look)
> Plan K is our course sending Kal-El to Earth.
Sarah: This story has been brought to you by the Plan K.
> We might figure out how Kiz got off the Kryptonite,
Mark: Lots and lots of Kryptonite Anonymous meetings?
Sarah: Well, Kiz put a Kryptonite patch on, and slowly eased off the stuff.
> and
> it's not going to good news to Kal-El.
>
> Aslo expect villains such as Bizzaro, Mettalo, Mr. Myzptlk,
> and other look to rust the Man of Steel. Don't forget
> Luthor's in the future too.
Sarah: Okay, can anyone tell me what the heck that was about? I understood next to nothing in that story.
--Door Sequence--
Sarah: So that was the legendary Dr. Thinker, huh?
Someone Else: Yup.
Sarah: Sometimes I wonder if that's just his gimmick or he's really that incompetent.
Others: Probably incompetent.
Sarah: You know, I saw the oddest thing a few months ago.
Someone Else: Do Tell.
Sarah: Well I was at the video store getting a video for Kaiser... I mean Castiron, and I saw a kid running through the horror video section like it was a toy store.
(Optional Response)
Sarah: Well he was pulling random movies out and saying "this'll make a good fanfic."
(Optional Response)
Sarah: Yeah, he seemed especially interest in the Resident Evil movies. (Optional Response)
Sarah: Well this kid ended up renting Resident Evil, Parasite Eve and a couple of George Romero's movies. I mean why would a kid want to make fanfics out of zombie movies? (Shakes her head) It's a couplete mystery to me...
(Others give her a bewildered look)
Sarah: Sheesh, what's your guys problem?
I think you can get a hint on where this is going. :-)