Very good, overall. Just a few condensing comments below. Good luck with it.
verse 1
Well, here I am with little Jen,
As she plays in the yard,
I'm taking things real easy
'Cause it aint very hard
Watchin' her so full of life
And bustin' at the seams
Wrecking cardboard boxes while
She('s building--replace--builds) paper dreams.
chorus
In A Cardboard Apartment
On Papercake Lane
Daddy and Jenny
Will laugh at the rain
To her it's so easy
(And I would be a part--replace--I'm naturally a part)
Of A Cardboard Apartment
And (a--replace--her) Big lovin' Heart
verse "2"
"The big box, (Dad, is ours--reverse--is ours, Dad" (you know--delete)
She told me with a grin,
(And--delete) when I am all finished
Get ready to move in
It's only made of cardboard
But our house just the same
(The street it's on is Make Believe--condense--It's on Make Believe Street)
But you give it a name
Posted on Feb 28, 2000, 5:44 PM from IP address 208.194.234.35
