Don't think I read the original version of this so nothing to compare it to. I think it's really good and love the hook (alot of people can relate to this). A few comments scattered below to do with as you wish
Good Luck With It
Susan
Sweet Like The First
V1
She walked through the door
With an awkward grace
Her skirt was too short
A long look on her face
I could plainly see
She was nervous being there
A frown showed through
The smile she tried to wear
-I love this verse, but would like to see it clarify that this is not a first date. Maybe saying something about the familiar look on her face or anything that would help to clarify.
V2
I asked her for a dance
Before other's came around
Played songs on the jukebox
Until we settled down
We broke the ice with small talk
Then vivid (maybe relived instead of vivid)memories from the past
Broken hearts and marriage vows
Dreams that didn't last
CHORUS
Love can taste sweet
A candy kiss burst
Something to treasure
Each piece sweet as the first
Love can turn bitter
Like an apple's core
A hard pill to swallow
An unwanted chore
So hold love as precious
Not just to quench a thirst
Then each piece you taste
Will be sweet like the first
-love the chorus it says it all!
BRIDGE
Two loving people had drifted apart
Exchanging words that hurt the other's heart
Caught up in the pace of work every day
Rushing too often through love's intraplay (not a very commonly used word)
Seeking release, they {courted not} (they couldn't find in) each other
(Found themselves) {But did spend time} in the arms of another
-just thought these 2 lines above read a little awkward
A meeting was arranged for truth to be spoken
Could love be mended or was too much broken
V3
As I took her hand in mine
She looked into my eyes
Wanting to know
Did I wear a disguise
We held each other close
Then came the tears
Followed by smiles
As we calmed our fears
From the moment we touched
On the dance floor
We felt {again} the thrill
That we'd been longing for
We pledged to {not forget} (remember)
As a new love was cast
Our hearts reformed the link
Broken by the past
-Always love a happy ending
CHORUS repeat
Pete Evanson,All Rights Reserved,2000
Posted on Feb 28, 2000, 7:30 PM from IP address 140.254.114.65
