A few things ...

by

 

I'd take a close look at the line in your Chorus before putting this to bed:

Red button got pushed in by us

It might just be me, but the phrasing here seems really forced-in. It just doesn't read, and I can't see how it would sing naturally. It's in a pretty important place too, setting up the hook as it does -- so kick it around.

Otherwise, this has tightened quite well ...

Don Rowe




Posted on Mar 3, 2000, 11:36 AM
from IP address 209.145.177.122


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