Hi Wayne,I think switching the two lines as Don suggested would work great, and just in case that red button is an alarm, say "It halted between floors" something like that, and "We pushed the stop button in"
Also, maybe switch a couple of lines around (for order of things happening)?:
On it's way down
We pushed the (red..maybe change to stop) button in
It (stopped...maybe change to halted) between floors
Minor tweaking and you have a winner!!! Keep writing.
Posted on Mar 3, 2000, 4:22 PM from IP address 207.112.213.148
