I'd like to know when we will ever learn
The purpose of livin' is for givin' love.
It costs nothin' to give love to someone,
And you haven't lived until that is done.
[I find this last line weak in phraseology and rhyme.]
Starvin' and dyin' could be helped or stopped,
But many stand watchin' while others pass by.
The greatest scarifices are made out of love,
And it is the reason that Jesus chose to die.
[I personally don't think that you should make any reference to Jesus in the lyric -- it doesn't come across as though the reference should be there -- it's like you've gone-off on a bit of a tangent -- maybe just me though.]
A final thought. I find that with this and you r other lyric, you should focus more on story development from a beginning, middle, resolution and end perspective -- that's one form, there are others. It just seems that you're relying too much on repeating stanzas which tends to leave the lyric somewhat hollow. Again, see what others think.
Tom
Posted on Mar 11, 2000, 11:48 AM from IP address 206.191.5.165