James,
Since you're writing this in third person at the beginning, I'd stick with it throughout. My condensing/ comments are below. Good lyric otherwise. Good luck with it.
<verse1>
When I think about my children,
As I watch the world decay,
The best thing I can hope for,
Is my kids will be ok.
I'll be there when they need me,
Always show them that I care,
(And--delete) if they (should) ever call me,
Fast as lightnin'-I'll be there.
<chorus> I'll do what I can,
To be at (your--their) side(s),
Dry all (your--their) tears,
(If ever you've cried--alternate line--When they start to cry).
I gave (you--them) my heart,
Gave (you--them) my soul,
(I'll)Reach out my hand,
If the world takes its toll.
<verse2>
When I think about my children,
And times I made them sad,
I hope I always showed them,
I'm their lovin'-caring dad.
(My chidren--replace--They) are my life,
Always want (my children--replace--them) near,
Cause my children are my world,
Wanna make that loud and clear.
<chorus> Repeat
Posted on Mar 13, 2000, 12:26 PM from IP address 208.194.234.97
