Shayne, I really love the hook! But I guess I'm with Graham on the 'believablity' here - but IMO that can work in your favor if you played it up.
We weren't sure if it was love
But we had two hungry hearts
something like that deals with this issue - but only you know what you want to say.
I know you're normally a stickler for conversationalism and I just wanted to pass on that I think her saying 'let passion be our guide' is a bit of a stretch.
But, I love the hook and the story line - I just think you can deal with the innocence - make it real - and yet still keept that racy quality (which is not over the top IMO).
Look forward to hearing it!
chad
Posted on Mar 16, 2000, 11:00 AM from IP address 152.163.207.67