"She's The One ..." -- critiqued

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What I really think this lyric needs is a "back" story. Right now it's a little too snapshot and not enough motion picture -- if you take my meaning. With a title like "She's The One I Never Forgot" ... the listener will come in with the question "Why not?" Which, I think, isn't answered effectively just yet. The good news is, of course, as short as this is now, you've got more than enough room to paint a clearer picture, and bring us more convincingly to the point where the singer steps off that train. Best of luck.

Don Rowe



Posted on Mar 16, 2000, 1:52 PM
from IP address 209.145.177.122


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