last thoughts...

by

 

Hi Shayne,

As I said - this song is pretty tight, and I think your hook and basic premise works great. I just want to reiterate my thought that the bridge needs work - especially if you're going to repeat it. The sentiment is good - but the rhyme doesn't work and the words ... don't either, AIMHO. Please give this some thought - I think other's have echoed this. Otherwise, its ready to put down. I really like the tag half-verse. Great work. See ya!




Posted on Mar 16, 2000, 2:41 PM
from IP address 209.219.168.72


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