Hi Rochelle, I didn't get to see the first version of this, but I was glad to take a look at this one. All in all, it seemed alright to me. However, if I were you, I'd try to convey the fact that the singer is speaking to a girlfriend earlier on than you did........otherwise it could be really confusing. Good luck w/ this.
Posted on Mar 17, 2000, 2:34 AM from IP address 63.14.82.132