Well this one has certainly come a long way from where it started! And I like where it's going ... but there are a few things I'd like to call to your attention as you start putting the finishing touches on this.
I'm not entirely sold on the set-up. If as you suggest, the singer has broken his lover's heart "so many times" -- why is he/she still hanging around? I'd change that 3rd line to avoid making the object of the singer's affection either a masochist or a martyr.
Also up front, these two lines:
If you throw love away
It just might go away to stay
... are contradictory. Either you throw love away or it goes away to stay -- doesn't seem like you can have it both ways, no? Maybe something like:
If you throw love away
You'll only want it back to stay
Your call ... of course.
In the chorus, I'd rethink the opening two lines. The repetition of "love" so close together is problematic. Maybe something like:
Her touch brings me back again
To where love has always been
That's about it ... this has, again, really gotten stronger as it's grown. Nice effort and best of luck.
Don Rowe
Posted on Mar 20, 2000, 1:17 PM from IP address 209.145.177.122