This is just my opinion, but I don't care for AAAA rhymes. I find AABB or ABCB makes for a more interesting song. Is this a fast=tempo song? It could work okay in that case.
This song is okay. The premise is too familiar and the lyrics are too cliched overall, what with flowers dying and birds not singing. The chorus is kinda weak, too. You'll need to repeat your hook towards the end, and I think "split" is too casual a word to use by someone in his dire situation. Also, a heart on fire usually means that someone is in lust. This guy's heart is broken and smoldering.
Just my two cents. See what others think.
Posted on Mar 23, 2000, 4:25 PM from IP address 136.1.1.101