Hmmm...

by

 

Catchy message title ha? Hi Cindy. I haven't read your earlier drafts of this so...
I noticed your chorus has the same structure as your verses. It may be good to vary it a bit.
"feel the breeze rushing through the trees" seems kinda tired otherwise the lines look good to me. You could look into shortening your longer lines if you havn't yet set this to music. For instance:
"Somebody put me on a plane to nowhere land"
can be restated
"I'm on a plane to..."
Yours to keep or sweep...good luck with this.



Posted on Mar 23, 2000, 6:55 PM
from IP address 38.30.183.117


Respond to this message

Return to Index

Find more forums on SongwritersCreate your own forum at Network54
 Copyright © 1999-2009 Network54. All rights reserved.   Terms of Use   Privacy Statement