A bit of work to be done here Lisa

by Graham

 

Probably the most glaring line is the the before in the past line.
The following line needs a you and making clearer in my opinion.
The breaking my heart repeats takes away form the Title and what i believe should be the hook.
I just went over it again and the first vers start off saying how it was at the srat then skips to the put my trust back in you againn which i feel comes after the body of the song.
Hope this has been some help Lisa and all the best with it.
Graham



Posted on Apr 10, 2000, 6:59 AM
from IP address 206.135.142.18


Respond to this message

Return to Index

Find more forums on SongwritersCreate your own forum at Network54
 Copyright © 1999-2009 Network54. All rights reserved.   Terms of Use   Privacy Statement