Nits

Stan,
I like this. Despite the tough imagery, it comes across light hearted. Here are a few nits.

I'm not crazy about the third line of your chorus - it's not bad, but might be better - just my opinion.

I would change At "LANDING a FEW MORE to
Land a couple more. I think a shorten line here would flow better with the rest of the verse.

Posted on Apr 22, 2000, 9:57 AM
from IP address 12.78.104.102

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