LIKE the Hook, but in Verse One, you make the Singer out to be a "Skeptic at Love"...but you DON'T really Define what the Relationship "Problem" WAS that led to her taking off.
SO...Rewind back to the Start: Consider the Two of them having a Fight & she Splits. NOW spend the Rest of the Song "Making UP" and use that Super Hook to Do the Job. It'll make our Singer look a lot Less "Skeptical", More Human, and the Gals'll like it a Lot Better, too!
JMO...& I don't "Know it All"...but some things just Work-Better-than-Others at making a Song Succeed with an Artist...and an Audience.
Good Luck with a Good Start here!
Stan
Posted on May 7, 2000, 12:24 PM from IP address 209.240.200.147