I see you took my advice, albeit somewhat literally (but that's alright.) ... but the results are still, well, a bit mixed.
The shift to "We Quit Trying" seems arbitrary, especially since 98% is still focused on the singer's significant other. The wording, as a result, feels wrong, almost as if what you meant to say is "We Quit Working Anymore". See what others say about it.
I agree with Graham that the attitude/rude rhyme isn't one I'd use to set up a first Chorus, or use at all, if you really want to know. Rework that one ... it's just a little too abrasive.
You might be a little close to this one, I'm suspecting. Put it away for a couple of days, then take a fresh look at it. I'm sure you'll see an obvious direction to go in then to focus it.
Don Rowe
Posted on May 15, 2000, 4:43 PM from IP address 209.145.177.122